


Take Me Home

by forgetmenotsassenach



Category: Outlander & Related Fandoms, Outlander (TV), Outlander Series - Diana Gabaldon
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-28
Updated: 2021-02-27
Packaged: 2021-03-01 17:22:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 22
Words: 43,175
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23890768
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/forgetmenotsassenach/pseuds/forgetmenotsassenach
Summary: Jamie finds out Claire is pregnant again and forces her to go back through the stones just before the Battle of Culloden. However, something goes wrong and now he is facing more than just one problem... it's Claire and she's unconscious in his arms...and they're both in 1948 together.
Relationships: Claire Beauchamp & Jamie Fraser, Claire Beauchamp/Jamie Fraser
Comments: 540
Kudos: 484





	1. This Ain't Goodbye

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! 
> 
> This is my first Outlander story and after an amazing rewatch (the only highlight to being on lockdown) I had this idea and couldn't get it out of my head until I had written it down. 
> 
> Please let me know what you think - especially being my first story in a long while!

Jamie had remembered the various times' Claire had mentioned about advances in her time. They would lay together, his hands brushing through the whips of her curls that didn’t fall easily behind her ears and listening to all of her wonderful stories... imaginative ideas and revelations of what amazing things were to come.

He didn’t scare easy, nor was he thrilled by the thought of his world disappearing as quickly as it would, but he knew it was for the best. Time had a way of changing and carrying on no matter what anyone wanted. Despite his own fears he couldn’t help but notice the glimmer of hope that appeared whenever she spoke of the future. 

They often laughed, as Jamie would defend the idea of horses being the perfectly reliable transport method, many a horse had gotten him through the years he reminded her. Claire immediately brought up cars in her defence explaining the speed and the mechanics the best she could. It wasn’t til now she even really thought about them as being a magnificent change of the future. Though she wouldn’t have gotten to explore the Scottish highlands without one. There’s no way she would have gone back to look at those flowers at Craigh na Dun if it hadn’t been for speedy transport option available to her. 

“That’s how I got to the stones... in a car” she explained. One of the many times they’d spoken of their first encounter. Her head was neatly resting in the crook of his neck, his embrace welcoming her like it always did so perfectly. 

“A car?” He frowned causing his accent to exaggerate and prolong the “rrr” sound reminding her of a pirate. 

She nodded. “It’s like an…umm…” she tried to think of the right description. So many things in her time existed, yet she understood for Jamie these may seem hard to comprehend let alone explains rationally. “A horse but it’s a kind of machine that is quicker than a horse…” she stumbled on her own words, seeing his face show even more confusion than before, so she began to describe what material they can be made out of, the speeds they go, the colours, everything she could imagine in her mind to help paint a realistic image for him. 

“Why not just use a horse, if it’s practically a horse?” James Fraser said as boldly as he dared. 

Claire smiled, pushing her hand softly into his chest; the smile appearing on his face confirmed he was winding her up, as usual. She softened her hand and rubbed up and down his stomach, pulling her body closer to his. 

“Horses aren’t really used that much as time goes on… thanks to the industrial revolution” she resisted adding in the last part but she’d promised after being framed and tried as a witch she’d always be honest and this was part of it. If she knew something she wanted him to know, to understand to grasp a better sense of the reality she was already immersed in. 

“I see” was all he replied. Claire knew not to press the matter anymore. He must have understood enough as he nodded, unsurely, but he still nodded. 

So when he saw one approaching with great speed he had an idea straight away he might know what it was. Well, at least he assumed. It was a similar shape and structure to what Claire had described, the best she could as lass and with little interest for the machines. It stopped almost suddenly, the tyres skidding on the gravel road and without a word a man appeared from inside, hovering shakingly besides the door. 

“I almost hit you!” the middle-aged man declared, screaming his words into the road. It was a mix of shock and fear. There were no other cars around nor would there be for a while. These parts of the highlands were often secluded, with only haunted souls remaining. So bumping into a man and what appeared to be another person wasn’t what he had expected on his afternoon drive. 

“Aye,” Jamie replied. His strong accent appearing through more with each sound he made. He turned and picked up his fragile wife in his arms, her body lifeless and cold. He had used his arms to tightly secure her as much as he could against his chest, to shield her from the harsh cold air. 

The man stepped back, slightly unprepared for what had been brought before him. He hadn’t been on the front and wasn’t use to the slight of a body unlike many of his friends and neighbours. He looked at the man in front of him judging whether or not he was the reason this lady was in his arms or the one who saved her. 

“I... I need ye help…” James Fraser begged. His voice breaking at the realisation his wife was in this position, that his own causes had been the catalyst for why his wife was in his arms not stood proudly beside him showing him her land… her time. God he needed her here right now, she’d be able to calm his fears instantly. 

The man gulped and nodded. Through his own judgment, he knew the sad eyes like the scot in front of him. The pain was leaking out like waves of gas. He quickly returned to his automobile and opening the doors to the back of the machine. “Put her in here. We’ll take her to the hospital. It’s not too far” he declared, wasting no time and getting quickly into the front of the device and turning the rounded shape object he was holding on to so tightly his knuckles were turning white. 

“Hospital” Jamie spoke quietly to himself, looking down at his Sassenach. He brushed the stray hairs from her face, holding his hand over cheek to cup her delicate chin. She had spoken of them regularly on the battlefield, explaining it was what she had been trying to set up and create to tend to the wounded. A hospital he thought to himself. If only she was awake to him talk so confidently of words he had not yet seen or experienced but had learnt through her wisdom and grace. Aye, she’d indeed probably be proud of him.


	2. Unknown Surroundings

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Firstly, thank you so much for all the support I've received so far! 
> 
> I'm so glad to see people are enjoying reading it just as much as I'm enjoying writing it.
> 
> I've rewritten this chapter about 5 times now... So without further ado here it is...

The car had been travelling pretty fast, or what Jamie considered being fast. Even his finest thoroughbred could only reach half the speed this machine seemed to go. It made the hairs on the back of his neck stick out. The trees appeared to be flying past them, so fast he could barely make out their origins. He hadn’t seen anything go this fast before but yet here he was...

“We’re almost there!” the driver shouted loudly, his voice fighting against the cool breeze that was filling the capacity of the car. Jamie had cursed the kilt that revealed his bare legs. It felt the coldest mornings on the hills by his childhood home being presented all in one as it lashed against his skin. He pulled Claire closer on his lap, making sure she wasn’t as cold as he was. He always feared for when she got cold, he had learnt that was a clear sign she was getting sick. 

Just as promised, the dirt track gravel road that led from the highlands had turned into a wider road that led into a rather large and peculiar looking village. Tall buildings everywhere, made out of materials that didn’t seem natural like he had witnessed. And the clothes were so different. He swore he saw a woman walk by with trousers on? He had so many questions yet the one person he trusted to give them to him wasn’t able. He had wished his first experience of this land had been with Claire, guiding him around as she explained every single thing with the beautiful details and storytelling. It was the storytelling part he missed the most, alongside the stern words he would have received right now for worrying so much. Jamie laughed to himself thinking how she would probably use one of those English words like ‘bastard’ to describe his panicking right now over nothing. 

Just as soon as Jamie mind had begun to get lost in the new city, the car stopped immediately. If his reactions weren’t as good as they were it would have sent himself and Claire into the front seat beside the stranger. 

“It’s just there lad.” the man pointed to the busy building, it was an old-looking house with people rushing in and out at all angles and yet he seemed frozen. “A hospital,” he thought to himself. Aye, this indeed looked as Claire had described to him. 

The man opened the door to the backseat where Jamie and Claire were, assisting Jamie to help get Claire out of the car as easily as possible. Jamie held her tightly in his arms as he had done more than on one occasion. He loved the feeling of her, as close to him as possible, he’d die protecting her if it had come to it, many a time he had come close to that exact promise.

“Thank you” he softly spoke to the man. The man nodded and got back into his car leaving them stood outside the entrance to the hospital. 

“We did it Sassenach,” he whispered pressing his face down against hers as he tightened his grip around her. 

His walk turned into a sprint, as he moved towards what appeared to be the entrance to the hospital. Apart of him wanted to run away to somewhere he knew, recognised… but this wasn’t his time anymore and he needed to make the best choice for Claire and their unborn child. Breathing deeply he pushed the heavy doors with the force of his shoulder.

The building was even bigger inside, with various rooms that led from the main lobby. The walls were high, sheer white and it was chaotic, just as Claire had told him, though he knew most of the hospitals she had been in were near the front and soldiers were coming in second to second from the battlefields. This seemed a more managed type of chaos. Women dressed in white, with long aprons, were walking back and forth, with their white capes flapping around their faces. What stood out the most was the black polished shoes against the white theme that seemed to be coordinated throughout the building.

“Sir, can I help?” A lady no older than Jenny looked came up to him. Her eyes glancing over at Claire as her hand instantly went to the arm that was loose to check her pulse. 

“It’s my wife!” he explained. Her body seemed to be heavier than it had been earlier in his arms; her head now wasn’t supporting itself despite how much Jamie was ensuring it wouldn’t fall any further.

“This way Sir” She ushered them down a short corridor and into what he assumed was a ward. It was full of beds, some empty, some with people in. There was more of the woman or healers who were dressed in white surroundings those in beds. The woman led them towards an empty bed at the end of the room, another woman came over and together they tried to reach Claire to examine her. But with Jamie’s grip on her body that was pulling her tightly into his chest, it was proving difficult. 

“Sir, you need to put your wife down!” A woman who looked senior to that of the rest of the other healers commanded, she had just walked in and could see that the woman in his arm needed to be looked at instantly.

Jamie hesitated. He didn’t want to leave her or let her go. He had promised her he wouldn’t. “She’s my wife...” he lightly whispered. His ability to feel broken was only ever possible because of Claire. She had some power over him no one else had ever possessed. Something that caused every essence of him to want to protect her, to never let her go even for a second. 

Love, is what Claire called it. 

As the woman examined his wife, hurrying and shouting for another woman to join he knew right then he needed to let them save her, to help her. He loosened his grip on her body, placing her down on the bed, stepping back slightly so he was able to watch as more woman joined, he assumed they were the same as what Claire was. They seemed as nurturing and did similar things she did when she was helping another. Checking her pulse, listening to her heart and checking her eyes. He had learnt several medical terms since seeing his wife daily attend to someone. 

“Sir, if you could follow me?” The nurse who had brought them to the ward called him over. He knew nothing of this world and in his own, he had learnt to trust no one he didn’t know. He was hesitant to follow her, more so for leaving his wife alone. Claire wouldn’t have left him he thought. But knowing that someone was with his wife he followed her away from the bed and deeper into the centre of the room. His eyes were constantly on Claire as they had stood so he could still see her. 

“Sir” She started again, almost clicking her fingers to bring his attention back to where they stood. She definitely reminded him of Jenny. Her mannerisms for sure were similar. 

“What’s your wife name?” The lady had grabbed a chart and was ready to begin to scribble down notes as he spoke.

He hesitated and paused. Then he remembered Claire telling him that they wanted your name to help you, so they could communicate with you. He remembered her telling him how hospitals were a safe place from prying eyes. That no soldier who meant to harm ye would dare come inside. He also remembered how the first thing she would always do was to ask for their names to comfort them. 

“Claire... it’s Claire Fraser” 

The nursed nodded, scribbling down his wife name before looking up. “And your name?” She asked. “Just so we know who to speak too” she reassured him. 

“James Alexander Malcolm Mackenzie Fraser” he said without looking at her. 

“Is the bairn okay?” The thought had been going around in his mind since they arrived somehow back in Claire’s time. He didn’t think he could cope with losing another bairn, but he definitely knew it would destroy Claire. She had already shared her fears over not being able to conceive and now she had and if it happened again he didn’t know what he’d say... She hadn’t been looking after herself due to the conditions of the battlefield and her constant worries over trying to stop the battle. He knew he was to blame for not realising her condition sooner. Though he had been the one to tell her, he wished he’d offered her extra supplies and made her sleep instead of worrying about what supplies she could find. 

“Mr Fraser, we’re just trying to identify what’s wrong with your wife. Whilst we do some tests and wait for the doctor to come round if you’d like to go back in you can...” before she could even finish Jamie had already disappeared back into the room and beside his wife. He left her too long for his liking and he needed to be there for her. Her soothing words had often brought him out of the darkness and he wished to do the same for her. He spoke to her in his native tongue, whispering sweet words of love and prayers to keep her safe. 

“Jamie” her voice was weak and disorientated as she reached out to firmly hold onto the hand her husband had tightly secured around hers. Whatever they must have given her had started to take effect. 

“I’m here Sassenach” he reassured her, brushing her face softly and repetitively as she had often requested. He got closer to her, his nose rubbing against her pale cheek. A drop dripped from his eye as he realised she was back with him, that his prays had been answered. He wished not to live in a world without her. 

“I need you to find someone…” her speech barely audible, but yet Jamie understood. 

“Aye, who Sassenach?” He questioned why she’d be looking for someone when she was barely awake enough to talk. She should have been saving all of her strength. But he knew she wouldn’t waste her breath if wasn’t vital. 

“Reverend Wakefield and Mrs Graham” she paused, gulping loudly as her throat increasingly drew drier. He could sense the discomfort she was feeling. Her eyes were heavy and she didn’t have the strength to hide it from him anymore. 

“We can trust them.” 

Her eyes closed again and this time he did not panic, he saw how peaceful she looked. Now it was up to him to help her and find these people she requested. Claire hadn’t spoken of many people from her past that was alive. He knew just the person to ask to help him find them as well.


	3. Faith, Trust & Pixie Dust

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you again for all of the wonderful comments! I love reading them and seeing what you thought! 
> 
> Hope this chapter brings some smiles to your faces! (Especially during these times). 
> 
> Absolutely gutted though that this Sunday is the last episode of Season 5?! It's gone so quick!

Jamie remained still for quite some time. His hand refusing to leave Claire’s, despite her wishes to find the people she had asked for.

He watched her face, the way her brows creased when she breathed deeply, her nose twitching every so often. But he couldn’t help but notice the missing element he loved most when he watched her sleep…her smile. It was absent at the moment. Though he hoped to bring her good news of finding these people would bring it back something bonnie. 

The nurse who had seen them inside came over once more. She wasn’t sure what made her want too but she felt obliged to help. Their clothing was different and the way he spoke reminded her of her great grandfather's accent and the tales of the highlands he was raised in. Whether it was his memory or something else she knew she had to help. 

“I just spoke to the doctor who saw her earlier. He said your wife would likely be sleeping a bit. When you brought her in she showed high levels of dehydrating and malnutrition” Normally she would use more medical terms and explain the different vitamins that they’d given Claire but she felt it might go misunderstood.

“We’ve given her some vitamins and some other medicines to help bring her back to full health. But the baby is just fine” she knew the last part would bring a smile to his face.

Jamie nodded, he understood all too well what the nurse had told him, the guilt was overtaking his body like a hostage. He knew she had been overdoing it on the battlefield, the weeks before with barely any source of food heaven forbids any greens or anything that would likely help ensure the health of their bairn and her. 

Despite the blame he was putting on himself he knew he had to find the people Claire spoke of. Knowing she’d be all well and good with rest he decided he needed to work on his plan to find them. The nurse who had been watching over Claire seemed like a nice lassie, something told Jamie he could trust her, so unwilling and with a bit of hope he did. 

When she came back over to check on Claire for the second time in a short space of time she asked if there was anything else he needed. Before he hadn’t said a word but this time he did. 

“Aye, can ye help me find someone?” 

The nurse nodded. “Of course” she smiled professionally, normally they wanted to see the matron or the doctor but she wasn’t so sure this request was going to be so straightforward. 

“Who is it your looking to find?” 

“Mrs. Graham” Jamie paused. “I’m not sure of her first name mind” he scratched the side of his face, hoping his slight belief in hope might pay off. He hadn’t thought to ask Claire for her first name. 

The nurse laughed. “I do know of a Mrs. Graham actually” she surprised even Jamie by her remark. “She’s often with Reverend Wakefield too” she commented. By the look on Jamie’s face, she knew he had meant the same old lovely Mrs. Graham. 

“She’s also my neighbour... how strange” He knew what neighbours were even though he had often lived miles away from him, somehow in this strange town where houses seemed almost on top of each other he assumed that their version was slightly different. 

“How far away does she live?” Jamie inquired. He hadn’t the stomach for another car trip nor would find a horse occur so walking it would be. He had often followed people’s directions and found places so why should it be any different in this time? If anything he thought the journey would be eased by the buildings and landmarks to use against his knowledge. Trying to follow directions when all you’re given is a bush and tree type, now that was a challenge. 

“I can take you to Mrs. Graham… if you don’t mind waiting for me to finish my shift?” Jamie debated what to do, but thought it would be better to wait for someone to take him directly to her, less chance of getting lost and of course it meant less time away from his Sassenach. He hadn’t understood many of the modern phrases except finishing. He waited for her to leave and stood himself up, bending over to kiss Claire’s forehead before seating himself down in the hall opposite the ward where Claire was. Had she had woken up he would of ran straight to her side but he could see she was still peacefully asleep. 

A short while later Jamie looked up. “I’m ready Mr. Fraser ” the nurse replied, she had a small satchel against her shoulder coming down to just below her a hip and a thin-looking shawl was placed over the top of her nurses uniform wrapped around her arms.

“Jamie” he corrected her. After all she’d done so far for him and Claire he wished to be called by his first name. 

“Well, Jamie... my name is Faith” and just like he knew he’d made the right choice in trusting this young woman. Whether it was hope or a type of modern-day witchcraft he knew something had allowed him to trust this young nurse. 

They walked at a faster pace than he expected to her car that was parked around the corner of the hospital. He got inside and realised he would have to hold his stomach the whole journey. He prayed it was shorter than one he had to tolerate from the stones. His seasickness had always been an issue but inside this strange machine, it appeared he had similar symptoms he felt to when he was abroad a ship. Breathing deeply he closed his eyes and hoped the journey would soon be over. Her driving was much calmer which seemed to help his queasy stomach. Though it hadn’t helped the lightheaded feeling that grew with every turn the machine took. He hadn’t even thought to ask Claire how she drove? Would it soft and gentle? Or was she like the mad man earlier who turned the car so sharply it felt like it would fall apart? 

As the car stopped Jamie wasn’t sure if he was more glad to be out of the car or that he’d finally reached his destination. It didn’t matter nonetheless; he had something important to do. 

“That’s her house there.” Faith pointed to a small cottage. In the middle was a light blue door that reminded him of the ocean. The brick was old and ruined but it worked well against the row of roses that had intertwined the whole way across and down. Plants covered the small garden at the front of the house and he betted the rear looked similar. It seemed peaceful. 

“She doesn’t bite” Faith laughed, almost pushing his shoulders so he took a step closer to the door. She had since gone to her house as Jamie suspected inches away with her hand rattling a key into the lock. 

“Aye,” He choked. Claire hadn’t mentioned that anyone in her time had habits of biting? All of sudden he had let his thoughts run away with him. What part of him would they bite? In France it was legs... but here it could be any part of his body. His hand instinctively went to between his legs protectively before stepping onto the small pathway that led directly to the door. 

He knocked once and hard. His breathing was shallow as he waited for it to open. A sharp click and a small twist of the knob and as it slowly opened he saw an oldish lady appear from inside. She waited for him to speak. 

“Is your name Mrs. Graham?” He tried his best not to stumble over his words but the thought of anyone biting him no matter the reassurance Faith had given him won the battle. 

“It is my dear and who might you be?” She could see Faith standing by her own door smiling over, knowing she had brought this young scot to her door. 

“Fraser... my name is James Fraser mam” he spoke as confidently as he could, his hands still dangling down to protect whatever part of his body needed it. 

“Ahh, Mr. Fraser... did you want to come inside and talk? I don’t bite!” she confirmed. Instantly his hands dropped from his guarded body and he nodded, a short smile appearing on his face. He had found her Claire; he had found her for you.


	4. Would You Like Some Sugar?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you once again for all of the lovely comments! 
> 
> Someone asked how often I planned to update and to reiterate what I commented back it will be as often as I can! 
> 
> I have another story idea which I'm debating writing as yet again I can't get it out of my mind so I will see about maybe starting that one sometime soon as well?
> 
> I'm finding this to be not only a creative outlet during lockdown but it is also counting towards my independent learning (Woo!)
> 
> Enjoy!

Jamie followed Mrs. Graham into her home, the intense smell of lavender filling his nostrils and instantly blocking all his remaining senses. He couldn’t help but notice how tiny the home was, yet it still presented a cosy vibe. The sitting room consisted of only two floral decorated chairs, a small table nestled between them and a wooden cabinet with fine china on. 

“It’s not much…” she commented, watched his eyes investigate the room. “But it’s home” Jamie smiled avoiding looking around further as if not to be rude. 

“Sit, please” she guided to him the empty chair he was stood closest too. Jamie sat himself down, finding he couldn’t help but snuggle into the back of the chair, the fabric pulling him in. It had been a long time since he had last sat in a comfy chair.

“Before we have a chat can I get you something to drink...tea perhaps?” She offered politely. It was becoming a regular occurrence that she found herself offering strangers cups of tea to drink. She had since discovered that many people who were “lost” would visit her, often hearing of her close ties to the reverend and her charitable work that deemed her advice wanted. She had lost count how many people had sat in the same chair Mr. Fraser was. Though, she liked it that way. She was barely in her home, often with the Reverend or in the church so it was nice when she did retire home to have someone to keep it lively.

Jamie nodded and smiled, watching her walk out of the main room he had been welcomed into and what appeared to be the kitchen at the rear of the house. His eyes were like a hawk as he studied the rest of the environment. So much history existed in this room, strange-looking pictures hanged on the walls, the artist must have been a hell of a good one as the paint strokes were barely recognisable. The ornaments consisting of different types of porcelain and china were neatly positioned in rows to show off their pride. Jamie could tell the collection was valuable and it must have been passed down for years just by the ware of the items. They looked like things he’d seen his own ma polish over and over again in their home. 

“Sugar?” She asked, the pitch of her voice rising slightly to signify she was walking back into the room. 

“Umm…yes” he replied with so much hesitation he almost convinced himself not to take the small pot and spoon that had been guided towards him. Mrs. Graham had set down the cup and saucer on the small table that separated the chairs and handed him the metal spoon to pour in his own sugar. He observed her first, seeing how much of the crystal-like powder she put into her own cup before copying the exact same. 2 small spoonful’s it was. He carefully stirred the mixture as she did and then took his first sip. He tasted the sweetness of the sugar straight away though it seemed different he knew he could get used to this. After a few more sips the overwhelming sweetness had begun to blend into the warmth of the hot drink. He had been used to seeing cube-shaped lumps rather than this. 

Mrs. Graham appeared amused by his realisation of sugar and couldn’t hide the smile that crept onto her face. Her hair was messy, similar to the wavy locks that he struggled to tame. However, hers was grey in appearance and a clip was used to keep the main wildness at bay. Her lips were thin and her body was tall and skinny, her cardigan was tightly wrapped around her waist. 

“You’re not from here, are you?” 

“No ma’am” He replied back. He hadn’t wanted to say anything else just yet. He was sure his style of clothing had given that much away at least for his many of the men he’d seen his arrival weren’t dressed like a highlander from the 1700s for starters. Though he had been happy to see one man wearing a kilt as he got closer to Mrs. Graham’s house. 

“I haven’t seen many men wear a kilt for years” she continued. The pictures in her room showed a middle-aged man smiling proudly dressed in his green tartan shaded kilt. “That’s my late husband, a fine man he was,” she said with sorrow in her voice. “It was the war... a few years back”. 

Jamie didn’t say a word, he didn’t need too. Despite his questions, he had asked Claire about her time in the war and heard the stories countless times of the heroic actions of men who fought for this country.. for others, for women and children alike. Though he’d witnessed 'war' he knew the war she had lived through hadn’t been like anything his generation had seen. It was a battle of technology and advancements. 

“Is there something I can help you with then Mr. Fraser?” She asked, acting as the last conversation was merely a starting point, bringing her own cup of tea up to her lips. 

Jamie paused. “Aye...” 

Mrs. Graham looked at the young Scot in front of her waiting for him to continue. “Are you same Mrs. Graham who knows Reverend Wakefield?” 

She couldn’t help the chuckle that escaped her lips despite the conversation so far being anything but cheerful. “I do, I know him very well... in fact, I’m his housekeeper if you will” she smiled and Jamie’s shoulder relaxed again back into the velvet softness of the chair. 

“Is it the Reverend who sent you here then?”

“No” though apart of him wished it had been easier to explain than the truth was. “My wife asked me to find ye actually” 

The look of puzzlement he assumed he’d see was absent and instead was a look of pure intrigue. She had taken what he said in her stride and was eagerly listening. Though she wasn’t sure what help she could be. 

“What’s your wife’s name Mr. Fraser?” 

“Claire....” He couldn’t help but smile whenever her name left his lips. The start of their marriage had been rushed but his love was ever-growing and the slight tint of red to his checks confirmed this.

“Claire?” The puzzlement in her face confirmed as much. He could see the imaginary clogs in her brain rotating back and forth as she tried to recall through the many people she’d met and he assumed by her hospitality that list would be longer than he’d ever thought to be. 

Jamie took another sip from the cup. “You might remember her by a different surname... Randall... Claire Randall” As soon as the surname left his lips he saw the instant change in her expressions. What had gone from warmth and kindness turned to fear and worry. He hated thinking of that name yet alone it leaving his very own lips. He had remembered as soon as he stepped into this time there was a chance he might meet him...that he would be here... somewhere. He knew Frank was different to Black Jack, Claire had told him as much but as descendent and with a similar appearance, Jamie couldn’t help but wonder if he’d still hate the man or attempt for the sake of Claire to be civil if it came to it.

“Claire? It canna not be” her hand covered her mouth before she said anymore. She had never forgotten her first meeting with Claire, whilst her academic husband was with reverend Wakefield studying the past. She had offered to read Claire’s tea and then looked at her hands, all harmless really. It wasn’t til the passing days when she overheard the commotion that she had disappeared in thin air by the stones of all places that she even contemplated if the stories she’d grown up hearing were true. She hadn’t shared these thoughts with the reverend or Frank for fear they’d deem her unwell but deep down she always wondered. The lines of her hand were sketched into her memory as they were so different, so defined yet showed many different paths. 

“Ye remember Claire?” Jamie asked. Her face had told him as much but he wished to understand more, how they’d met, who she was to her... Claire hadn’t spoken of the people of her time much, for she was quite alone except for Frank. Though she mentioned her parents and her uncle Lamb the only other name he heard a few times was the woman in front of him. 

“I met Claire just before she went...missing” Mrs. Graham recalled, the flashback in her mind like a running film at the pictures. “We had talked whilst Frank, her husb..” She stopped remembering who this man had introduced himself as. “Frank was spending quite a deal of time with Reverend Wakefield looking at his family history. So I got to know her, we got on well for the short time we spoke. I was so sad when I heard she disappeared” She continued unable to look away. “Reverend Wakefield often received letters from Frank since it happened I always asked if she’d been found yet...” suddenly bringing her back from her memories she asked what she now feared. “Is she alright?” It had confused why Claire hadn’t come here herself to find her more than anything. 

Jamie nodded for fear his voice would break if he spoke out loud. “Aye, she’s in the hospital at the moment...she just needed rest after the trip back” He wasn’t sure what to mention or what to miss out, though he also hadn’t been completely dishonest, it was definitely there trip back that caused her to be in a hospital bed rather than by his side. Despite Claire’s faith in this woman his own was still hesitant. Though he gave enough details as not to alarm her. 

“What is it claire needs my assistance for Mr. Fraser?” Her finger was following the rim of the china cup. 

“I canna tell ye right now but I know Claire’s trusts ye...” 

“I see” she swallowed, aware of his eyes on her. “Claire was a good lass, and I trust that she sent you to me right now. Something is telling me so. So I think it’s best we go see her don’t you?” Jamie understood her comments, Claire had often described what Mrs. Graham had believed in and what she did when she wasn't with Reverend Wakefield. 

“Aye” Jamie said slightly too eager. He had been away from his wife longer than he’d wished. Since leaving France he barely left her side, fear more than anything but they both knew the chances of losing each other was slim if they were always together. 

He was glad she hadn’t mentioned about finding Reverend Wakefield on the way back to the hospital. He was anxious enough about bringing one person to see wife yet alone another who he was even more unfamiliar with and this one was also quite close to Frank too it seemed.


	5. Lost And Found

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you again for your lovely comments! I love reading them.
> 
> I originally wrote this chapter A LOT longer and decided to break it up so the next chapter will be posted quite soon as it's pretty much finished! 
> 
> To those who commented about me posting my new story, I'm going to post it sometime next week as I've already written up a draft (just want to edit it and then I'm good to go) 
> 
> Again, thank you so much and hope you all have had a lovely weekend!

Jamie didn’t know what would come next…vomiting everywhere in the small silver painted car or throwing himself (carefully) out of the car and walking the rest of the way back to the hospital. Though it had been again a short drive, his stomach was definitely feeling the effects of three journeys in one day. The only thing he was grateful for, was the fact there was no way they’d be able to get on a ship anytime soon with Claire still in the hospital. 

Mrs. Graham parked the car outside the hospital and got out and waited for Jamie to follow. He breathed deeply, holding onto his stomach and allowed the air to get into his lungs and soothe his inside. 

Walking inside the building Jamie took the lead as he knew where Claire had been placed, it was the second ward on the right of the long corridor which looked even whiter than before if that was even possible, perhaps another fresh coat of paint? Though the entrance and waiting area seemed less busy with fewer nurses rushing around and only a handful of sick patients waiting to be seen than it had this morning when they arrived Jamie and Mrs. Graham found themselves waiting behind others to get down the corridor. 

He entered into the familiar ward retracing his steps from this morning to end bed in the room. He couldn’t help but notice his Sassenach wasn’t in the bed at the end. The bed that was closest to the small window that allowed in natural sunlight to the room. The bed that had extra blankets and linen sheets stored beside it. Instead, in this bed was an older lady with grey hair that was neatly curled, sat upright with a tray upon her lap eating some weird looking slimy mixture with a spoon. 

“Mr. Fraser what’s wrong?” Mrs. Graham sensed by the look on his face that something was wrong. When she caught his eye line she too could see that bed his eyes were glued on didn’t have Claire in. At least, she had suspected she hadn’t aged that much in the few years she’d been gone, though it could very well be possible. But his expressions confirmed that it definitely wasn’t her. 

“She’s... not here” he panicked. His breathing was heavy, and he began to pant as he struggled to find available air around him to suck in. He had broken his one and only true promise he’d made in his life to date which was to protect her, to keep her safe. He began to search around the rest of the ward, ripping the curtains furiously away to reveal the patients, none of them his wife. They looked agitated as he disturbed their sleep or whatever puzzle in the newspaper they were trying to solve. Panicking more he moved into the centre of the room, Mrs. Graham trying her best to reassure him. 

“Mr. Fraser…are you okay?” One of the other nurses who had been working alongside Faith and seen Claire in earlier this morning appeared. She had been watching as she entered the ward his strange and peculiar actions of searching for something or someone. She couldn’t help but pause before coming over remembering how defensive he had been when he first arrived with his wife. 

“Where’s....Claire?” 

“Oh, I’m so sorry Mr. Fraser...We’ve moved her to a private room just down the corridor. It’s been a busy morning and we’ve patients coming and going and it was getting pretty loud in here. I figured when she woke up she’d prefer the silence” the nurse had explained. “I’ll show you to her room now” she walked back out of the ward into the corridor, passing several other small wards before turning into a small box room on the left. It was indeed in the shape of a box and small but it had everything Claire needed for her stay in hospital. Jamie and Mrs. Graham were following so closely behind her that if she stopped abruptly they’d for sure run into the back of her. 

“I do apologise again Mr. Fraser” the nurse spoke softer this time seeing him finally relax as he took his rightful place besides Claire. “She should be waking up pretty soon.” She said before leaving them to check on the other patients in the ward opposite.

Jamie watched as Mrs. Graham settled on the other side of Claire, delicately picking up her hand and giving it a comforting squeeze. 

“She’ll know we’re here.” she said without explanation of what she was referring too. Though Jamie knew exactly what she meant. During his troubled times, he had felt Claire hold his hand the whole time, her love and wisdom portrayed through the squeezes she gave him, letting him know she was there and she wasn’t leaving. 

“Aye” Jamie replied, squeezing the hand he was holding that little bit tighter. He for sure wasn’t leaving her again, not now and not ever. He had still been amazed at how he had made it through the stones. He hadn’t heard the buzzing Claire spoke of; he hadn’t noticed anything different either. Whether it was just plain luck or fate he didn’t mind as long as he wouldn’t have returned without her. 

As a peaceful silence took over, Mrs. Graham couldn’t help but study Claire in front of her. She didn’t look any different, more mature if that was even a possible change to notice. It was almost strange to think she’d been missing several years without a single physical change. Then she looked at Jamie and the way he looked loving at her, afraid to look away in case she may disappear. 

“How long have you been married?” Mrs. Graham asked breaking the silence. 

“Just over 2 years...” He replied without hesitation. It had been the best day and night of his life. “It was arranged I suppose to protect her...I’m sure she’ll explain soon. I would have given my life to see her well” the honesty in his voice echoed the countless times he would have freely given his own life to save hers. The times he almost did give his soul just to protect hers. 

“I was married for over 30 years to my late husband” She started to share. “When I was a wee lass my ma’am told me when you know, you know. I didn’t understand what she meant until I met him.”  
Jamie looked at Mrs. Graham seeing something new about her, an almost vulnerability. She had given herself fully to love and not regretted a second of it. Much like he had and would thousand times over if it meant being with the one you loved. 

Looking down at the one he loved, he whispered into her ear. “I just wish ye’d wake up now Sassenach” His nose pressed against her cheek. He needed her. He needed her to tell him things would be okay that he’d made the right choices and done what she’d asked of him. Most importantly he needed her to be healthy and well. He wanted to tell her about how sick he gets when he goes in those god damn killing machines, he knew she’d probably laugh and compare it to his experiences on boats, reminding him of the time they sailed to France and he was more green than the ocean was. 

“Jamie…” Claire whispered back.


	6. Do You Believe in Fairies?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi Everyone!
> 
> I love reading your comments, so thank you so much and i appreciate every single one. 
> 
> I'm still not over the season finale but oh my god it was definitely a masterpiece! 
> 
> Here's another chapter! Enjoy! :)

“You’re okay Sassenach?” A single tear rolled down his cheek in relief to seeing her awake once more. Claire moved her hand up to wipe away the next one that was looming. 

“We are now” she smiled, her hand moving to cover her stomach to answer his question. In the nightgown, she had been changed into when she first arrived the small swell of her stomach seemed too almost jump out and to easy to miss but in clothes from before that consisted of many layers of materials that had been discarded on the chair beside the bed it was easy to see why bumps could be hidden till a later stage in the pregnancy. 

“May I kiss ye, Claire?” Jamie hesitated, wanting permission. 

Claire nodded and waited for his lips to touch hers. She had craved equally to feel his touch. His touch made her feel safe and loved. Her last memories of Jamie made her believe that their last kiss would be it. She had treasured every second of it, lingering her lips longer than she normally would, taking time to taste his lips against hers. Knowing now that it wouldn’t be the last made it all that more special and made her want to continue to treasure every second they spent together. 

A cough brought both of them back into the room and directly to the other person who was trying to avoid looking at the lovers. “Oh dear, it’s so lovely to see you again” she moved closer to the edge of her seat, grabbing onto Claire’s hand, squeezing it slightly. 

“Thank you so much for coming... I... we have some things we need to explain” 

“Aye,” Mrs. Graham grinned. “Aye, you do lass... but first I want to hear how you’re feeling?” She requested. 

Claire smiled, looking back and forth from Jamie to their visitor. She saw Mrs. graham looking down at her stomach and assumed Jamie would have already mentioned that in his plea to get her to come to the hospital. She made a mental note to ask Jamie later what he said to her to make her believe who he was and he convinced her to come. She had always been a trusting woman, someone with good instinct and ability to make a good judge of character, which is probably why she had been working for the Reverend for so long and why she had trusted Jamie on his word. 

Satisfied with the smile Mrs. Graham continued. “How about you start at the beginning?” She had been waiting since the moment Jamie turned up on her doorstep to understand where Claire had been and what she’d been up too. Though she had several theories she’d much rather hear it from Claire to either confirm or deny her suspicions. 

Claire had explained the whole story with Jamie eagerly listening in too. Though he could have easily joined in, he let Claire talk, after all this was her acquaintance. He carefully examined Mrs. Graham’s face as Claire told her of how she travelled through the stones, oblivious to begin with, believing it was a movie scene and how she had only wanted to look at the unidentified species of flower she had found the previous day. Mrs. Graham reacted at the right parts of the stories and showed remorse when needed too, but not at any point did she question Claire or interrupt. She allowed her to tell her story and with ease. She had listened to every part of the last few years of their lives together and taken it all in. 

“My... that is definitely a story Claire. Normally I would not believe such things but I knew the moment I looked at your hand all those years ago that something was different about you” 

Claire couldn’t help but think back to that day and how she too had been struck by the puzzling lines of her own hands. At the time she had just dismissed her comments, not understanding their importance but now it seemed like she had almost predicted the future. And then Claire remembered someone else. Someone she had not mentioned the whole time since being back, even if it was only a short while. Frank. Claire knew her next sentence was bound to hurt her present husband but she needed to ask. “Is Frank still alive?” She avoided looking at Jamie, wishing to not see the hurt in his eyes she knew would be there. 

Mrs. Graham nodded, pulling Claire’s hand into hers again. “He’s alive… he only wrote to Reverend Wakefield a week ago updating him of his latest study in Oxford” She looked down at the ground, debating whether to add more but knew it was better to get it out now than delay the inevitable. “When you first went missing... he looked for days... he stayed here for a while looking, but eventually, even the police told him to go back to Oxford. He constantly checks if there’s been any news”. The reverend received a monthly letter from Frank, often she’d read them too as he requested her too. In most, if not all of them he asked if there had been any sightings of Claire or anything that would bring him hope. She hoped he’d find peace but very much doubted it. He’d been like a dog with a bone that refused to give it up even if it knew it should have. 

“I see,” Claire said and remained silent, sinking back into the bed. She hadn’t even thought about the possibility of coming back, let alone coming back with another man that wasn’t her husband and worse of all coming back knowing she would never love Frank the way she used too or thought she used too. She had experienced something so true, so raw, Jamie’s love consumed her, it made her feel whole, like the missing piece she had been so desperate to find. With Frank, she loved him, but they were never like that. It was like coming together after a storm and uniting to only part again until the next storm came. It wasn't consistent. They were happy for the short amount of time before the war started, and then the war happened and the distance is what destroyed their marriage. Being apart for so long, for someone not to see the changes in you, the changes that made you, you and then to go back and expect things to fall back like they were once before had been even too much for Claire to comprehend. She had become independent, she already was to a certain extent but she hadn’t needed anyone for such a long time. She had allowed herself to be driven and stronger and the woman frank had fallen in love with wasn’t any of those things. She wanted to learn more about medicine and save lives not to cook and clean and look pretty on his arm surrounded by his pompous friends who only socialised with alcohol beverages and food she’d never heard of. She had never been the woman Frank had wanted her to be from the start, but she had hoped that might of changed. 

“Will you tell Frank, she’s back?” Jamie asked, breaking the silence. He wasn’t mad she asked about Frank, he understood more than he thought he would. He couldn't explain why to himself, but he trusted Claire. She needed closure. 

Mrs. Graham looked up, slightly shaken by the question and the proposition presented in front of her. “I will for sure tell Reverend Wakefield... I canna say if he will mention it... though I believe he would feel it’s his duty too” 

Jamie suspected as much and nodded slowly. 

“However, I will make sure you’re both settled and in a better position before I speak to the Reverend” She knew once she spoke to him he’d send a letter straight away to Frank, if not ring him to save the time. Then there was no way of knowing what would happen next. 

“Can you give us a bit of time please?” Claire almost begged. She wasn’t ready emotionally or physically to deal with what was to come. She had only just gotten Jamie back after believing she’d live the rest of her life without him, to raise their child alone, or possibly with another man whom she'd never really, truly love again. It had been something of a rollercoaster and all she wanted to do was get off and sit still. 

“Aye lass, I will give you plenty of time. So long as I can come to see the bairn when it’s born… I haven’t seen a bairn in so long” She smiled. Her children were fully grown and had moved out a long time ago, only visiting for holidays and specials occasions. 

“That’s months away though...I thought you said you work for the Reverend?” Jamie inquired, he didn’t wish to change her mind but the dates weren’t lining up. 

“Aye I do... but it doesn’t mean I have to tell him straight away or anytime soon. I meant what I said Mr. Fraser, I will protect you both the best I can and right now my job is to allow Claire to carry this baby without stress and worry of what is to come. Your story would be difficult for anyone else to hear let alone begin to believe!” 

“We thank you,” Jamie said, gripping onto Claire’s hand tightly, knowing he would be able to be there for every step and that her health wouldn’t be compromised. "You can call me Jamie Mrs. Graham if you'd like too...” after everything this woman was doing the least she could do was to call him by his first name; she had more than earned the right. 

“Aye, Jamie” Mrs. Graham paused for a moment before looking at the couple in front of her. “I think we better find you both somewhere to stay, don’t you?” She offered.


	7. Memories

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you once again for all of your lovely comments! 
> 
> WARNING: contains/talks about losing a child 
> 
> This is quite an emotional chapter, but I really feel like it was needed! Promise the next few will be much lighter!

Claire had been in the hospital for five days now. Slowly, but positively she had begun to show improvement. Her charts were getting more stable everyday and she had finally been eating a balanced diet. The increase in vitamins she had been prescribed had given her back the much-needed energy and fight that would ensure her baby would be growing rapidly. It had taken several days of her proving she was fine and reassurance countless of times that she’d come back if she had an ounce of pain or cramping to be checked over again to get Faith to even consider discharging her soon. Faith, the nurse, had been assigned to Claire for the duration of her stay and had taken care of her. it had helped that Jamie had gotten to know Faith as well for when he came in worried she would instantly be able to calm him down and explain what was going on. She also didn’t question the peculiar attire that both Claire and Jamie were dressed in, more so Claire. Whatever the reason it was simply not her business and surprisingly not the strangest thing she’d seen since working in the hospital. Her only job was to ensure Claire and the baby was both healthy. 

“Your vitals are looking much better today!” she said, her eyes not looking up from the clipboard she was holding onto. “If things keep improving looks like you might be able to go home the day after next” she explained, she showed the instant sparkle in Claire’s eyes as she heard the promising news. She had finally kept several meals down despite her raging hormones and sickness is one of the main symptoms of early pregnancy and she had even managed to walk around the ward. Though Jamie and Faith had stood either side of her to make sure if she fell or anything else they would catch her instantly. 

“That does sound like good news” Claire smiled. Despite her times working in a hospital she hated being a patient. When you’re a nurse it’s a very different vibe, a different role. Being busy and distracted we’re the best qualities a nurse could have, whereas being bored and lonely were how she felt as a patient. Jamie visited frequently throughout the day, only leaving when he was told too. Mrs. Graham too visited regularly, often leaving Jamie and Claire on their own for a bit before joining them. However, she had said yesterday that she had found them a place; though she didn’t speak much about it Claire knew that’s where Jamie was when he wasn’t with her. His handiness skills were being put through the paces as he was introduced to a new range of tools and some that he’d recognised instantly. 

Faith finished taking Claire’s vitals and adding them successful to the chart before she began to walk away to tend to her next patient. 

“You look like her…” Claire whispered, so quietly she barely heard herself say the words, so she even more surprised when Faith turned around and looked puzzled. 

“Sorry?”

“Oh, I’m sorry…I didn’t mean to say it out loud…” Claire explained. Her cheeks turned a shade of red as she tried to do anything and everything to hide her embarrassment. 

“It’s okay” Faith smiled reassuringly, she walked back and perched herself on the edge of the bed besides Claire. The other patients could wait a few minutes she decided, plus if she were needed they’d soon shout for her. 

“You look like what I imagine my daughter would have looked like…” Claire sighed, a sadness appearing and replacing the happiness that was once radiated her at the thought of finally being able to leave. 

Faith was even more confused… for one she didn’t know whether the child would be a girl or boy, yet would Claire and then she mentioned the word ‘would’ referring to past tense…

Claire filled in the gaps. “Me and my husband… we lost our daughter in France” she explained, realising how confusing her last sentence would have been to anyone except her or Jamie. 

“Oh, Claire, I’m so sorry,” Faith said supportively, squeezing her patients hand if only to let her know she was there. She hadn’t understood until now why Jamie had been so worried about Claire and more so the progress of their unborn baby. But it now made sense. 

Breathing deeply, trying to compose herself Claire continued. “It was a year ago…” She explained, even though it had been a year those 365 days hadn’t made the pain inside her chest ease, whenever her subconscious took over the thoughts instantly went to her small child whom she would never hold again.

“How old was she?” Faith asked intrigued. She hadn’t wanted to intrude but took the moment to ask as she could see Claire beginning to open up more. 

Claire paused and her eyes closed for a second. “She was stillborn...though I was near the end of my pregnancy…” the thoughts haunted her daily that she could of done something differently, tried something different to help, that her own sickness had caused it to happen. A tear dripped down her face as the thoughts consumed her. the guilt again and again. 

“From the short time I’ve gotten to know you, Claire, I know your medical advice is good and sound and you know as well as I do that these things happen… it’s nothing you would or could have done differently…” Faith tried to reason. Her scientific brain had always reasoned with her. “These things happen” she repeated. 

Claire nodded slowly. She agreed, and her own brain would have said the exact same thing to any other mother who was in a similar situation. 

“You said you thought I looked like her?” Faith spoke up. 

Claire smiled to herself and then looked up at the young nurse. “Yes, you’re what I imagine she would of looked like had she grown up. She had the same shade of brown hair like yours, like a chestnut colour and the smallest button nose which she must have inherited from me and my mother and Jamie’s’ fierce eyes...”

Faith couldn’t help but smile at how detailed Claire described her daughter, she had often been told she had a button nose and never thought of it as a compliment til now. 

“She was called Faith...” Claire admitted. “I think that’s why she reminds me so much of you…” 

Faith didn’t speak, she couldn’t. She was used to seeing her patients in pain, mostly physically, but this sort of pain was the type she’d do just about anything to solve, to fix. She had wanted nothing more than to be able to make Claire’s pain go away. Though the best way she could help her pain was to ensure that she and the growing baby inside her were healthy. 

Just as Faith went to speak one of her fellow nurses came up and said the matron was asking for her. 

“Go...I’m fine.” Claire sensed the young girl didn’t want to leave her when she seemed so vulnerable, but the truth was she felt better than she felt in a long time. She had kept the memories and thoughts of Faith hidden, not because she didn’t want to think about her, but because she knew when she finally accepted her fate she was scared she’d forget about her or worse she’d never fully get over her absence. 

“Claire, are you sure you’re okay?” Faith asked once more, before seeing the nurse who had been sent to find her looking even more annoyed than before. 

Claire nodded “Go” she smiled. “Jamie will be here any second… you know what he’s like about timings” she laughed. 

“Yes,” Faith replied, recalling the events from the previous day. “He almost bite off Matrons head for not letting him in at dead on 4 o’clock to visit you.”


	8. A Fresh New Start

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much again for all of your comments!
> 
> Apologies for how long it's taken me to get this chapter out. I wasn't happy with it and ended up re-writing it at least three times!
> 
> PS. Sorry to anyone who thought Claire would be losing the baby in the last chapter! (I'd never ever do that so do not fear!)

Claire had continued to improve and was finally given the all-clear to go home. The matron has been hesitant but hearing of Claire’s medical knowledge she seemed to agree much easier knowing Claire would come back the second she felt unwell or unsure of what was going on. Impatiently Claire waited for Jamie and Mrs. Graham to come for their daily visit, but this time knowing they were going to take her home. 

Mrs. Graham had been making daily visits trying to alternate as much as she could with Jamie so Claire was hardly alone. She often brought magazines and newspapers for Claire to read, to keep her updated with what was going on in the world. As much as Jamie needed updating, Claire also felt unaware of what had changed in the last few years and the more she read the more she realised how critical the time she missed was.

Mrs. Graham spoke at lengths on how she’d been teaching Jamie, informing him of things he’d need to know sooner rather than later. Claire couldn’t help but feel slightly jealous she hadn’t been the one to see his face when he saw new things, the things she’d spoken of. She remembered the way his mouth would linger open as she spoke of things that must have sounded like made up fairytales. 

4 o’clock arrived and as usual, Jamie arrived promptly to the small room. Mrs. Graham must have been close by, as Claire knew that was how he was getting around at the moment. As he walked closer Claire could see his familiar kilt had been replaced with brown patterned trousers, the material seemed somewhat baggy on his legs but they suited him anyway. 

“Mrs. Graham thought you might appreciate these Sassenach” He put down the clothes onto the chair beside the bed. A full outfit that had been thankful supplied by Mrs. Graham for Claire to change into. Jamie had enjoyed feeling how silky and smooth the clothes were, especially compared to the rough materials she normally wore. 

Claire smiled, pushing the blanket off her legs and twisting her body round on the bed to get into the correct position so she was able to push up and land on her feet. Jamie at once knew what she was planning and held onto her hands tightly to support her in case she felt dizzy like she had done the previous day. 

Claire reached down at the clothes and soon realised she couldn’t do it alone. “Could you… umm, help me?” Claire asked she didn’t look up to Jamie; embarrassed she wasn’t able to dress herself. 

Jamie lifted her chin up, her head now inline with his, moving his face closer to Claire’s nose touched her gently, rubbing softly. Jamie knew her better than she knew herself sometimes. “You’ve helped me plenty a time Claire, it’s my turn” His words had soothed her anxieties more than he’d ever know. 

As Claire picked the items she knew she could easily do herself, with just the basic support of keeping her steady from Jamie she felt somewhat relieved. it was when she Jamie playing with the stretchy material that there wasn’t a whole lot of, a confused and puzzled look on his face that’s when Claire spotted what he was fascinated with 

“It’s a bra… it’s the modern version of a corset…” She explained. 

“Where are the strings or ribbons?” Claire couldn’t help but smile as she mimicked how to put it on and showed him slowly how to hook the clips together, handing back other the item for him to practice by putting on her. Jamie watched carefully, witnessing the procedure and took the job very seriously as he focused so much his tongue stuck out, something he only did when he was concentrating. 

Next, she put on the pair of navy cotton trousers, again Jamie seemed confused. He hadn’t seen a woman in trousers before, but Mrs. Graham had already explained that it had become common for a woman to wear trousers especially since the world wars and how they were considered a practical item for women as well as men. 

Jamie couldn’t help but imagine what it must have been like for Claire when she first turned up in his time all those years ago, completely unaware of the differences in clothing, the layers that were needed and the magical talent of being able to perfect a corset. 

A short while later Mrs. Graham walked into the room knowing that by now Claire would have been dressed in the clothes she found in town. “Are we ready to go?” 

Claire nodded and began to walk away from the bed. Jamie had gathered the bag she had acquired during her short stay and refused to let Claire carry anything. As they walked towards the exit of the hospital they noticed Faith was stood by the entrance, waving at them. 

“Hold on” Claire asked, seeing Mrs. Graham nod as she went out the exit, presumably to get the car and put it closer to the hospital. Jamie too made his way further to exit, kissing her cheek before he left. 

Claire stood slightly nervous, she hadn’t been on her feet for so long and despite feeling better she still needed to get used to the idea of motion again. Every time she went through the stones she found her body taking longer to recuperate and wondered if this was a common reaction for those travelled through time. 

“Thank you for all of your help Faith” Claire smiled. She knew that only they would understand the deeper meaning of what ‘all of your help’ would entail. 

“It was my pleasure. Take care of yourself now okay?” She reminded her patient. “I will come to see you next week sometime if that’s okay? Just to check everything is still okay…” Faith reminded Claire. Mrs. Graham had already explained to Claire that as she had gotten to know Faith incredibly well she was one of the few people she knew Claire and Jamie could trust. 

Claire nodded. “I’ll look forward too it” She left without looking back and headed towards the main doors where she could see Jamie waiting for her. 

Claire couldn’t help but take in the small town as they drove through the streets, Even though she strangely found herself missing the 18th century she couldn’t help but feel relieved at the idea of flushing toilets and proper bathtubs, luxuries she had taken for granted before she was swept 200 years in the past. Though she’d gotten used to that time she wondered how hard the habits would be to break and change all over again? How much Jamie would struggle to adapt too? He had been on her mind more normal, she had dreamt of bringing him here, showing him everything, seeing him thrive and when the battle was preceding she wanted nothing more than to take him somewhere safer than his time. 

As Claire sat in the front of the car with Mrs. Graham, she couldn’t help but look back at Jamie fast asleep on the backseat, his mouth slightly open as he snored. Mrs. Graham had already mentioned how sick Jamie got every time he got in a car, comparing the shade of his face to a similar green colour of the lakes nearby. They had learnt that when Jamie slept whilst travelling he seemed unaffected which meant he slept the whole way. 

The journey so far had taken around 25 minutes and they were out in the countryside. The town wasn’t too far away if trouble arose but far enough she knew they’d be safe from prying eyes and suspicions. She had missed the feeling of the country air blowing against her face as she breathed in deeply the smell of trees and nature. 

“We’re almost here” Mrs. Graham chipped in, bringing Claire out of her daydream as she looked out of the window. 

The car turned sharply around a bend and revealed the small cottage hidden between two small hills that were to be there home for now. 

“It’s lovely” Claire smiled. She had never had a place to call her own, she’d never really had any items to call her own when she thought about it. Once upon a time she almost did, but it never felt like it did right now. Her residence with Frank had always been temporary as he often moved around for his work so she had learnt not to get attached. Likewise, with her childhood, uncle Lamb didn’t settle either, always finding another exotic place to explore. The one thing she wanted to was to make roots for this baby, for them to have a home to call theirs. 

“It’s all yours lass” She responded as she parked the car just outside the home.   
Mrs. Graham had explained how she found them the house when she visited several days before. She had been discretely asking around for available properties, not mentioning names or income in the hope to find something suitable for the couple. She had fortunately met up with Mr. Simms, who owned one of the larger farms in the area at a church service and had been delighted to overhear him talking of needing help to manage his ever-growing flocks and stables. She practically dragged him away to enquire about the position stating she knew the exact man for the job and whom she’d vouch for, which was more than enough for the middle-aged farmer. It was then he happened to mention that a small cottage was nearby and was in complete ruins he’d been debating tearing the whole thing down, as it needed so much work. 

Of course, after having Jamie stay with her the last few days and seeing how he’d fixed practically anything in the house that seemed in need of repair, she knew he’d be able to set the house up and complete the repairs with just the materials needed. As fate would have it Mr. Simms suggested that her friend could have the cottage in exchange for Jamie working with him and helping him out double the time he’d normally ask. He would still pay him of course but at a lower rate. A handshake later and Mrs. Graham couldn’t wait to tell Jamie and Claire she’d found them not only a place to stay but a permanent home for them. 

Mrs. Graham had been helping Jamie get to the cottage, giving him lifts whenever he wasn’t at the hospital and she wasn’t with the Reverend to ensure he could get the cottage up to livable standards by the time Claire would get out. Mr. Simms had come by one evening and met Jamie, happy for him to be working alongside him and discussing the matters of what the job entailed. they spoke about lengths about horses and it was decided Jamie would do perfectly for the job. 

Claire got out of the vehicle and took a few steps closer to the cottage. The exterior was indeed in dire need to be fixed and most of the windows looked like they were barely supported by their frames. 

“Come on” Jamie eagerly pulled his wife’s hand, her entire body following his at speed with Mrs. Graham behind them. Jamie first showed them the front door that he’d fixed earlier that morning and how the handle was now fully attached and allowed the building to be secure. 

Claire couldn’t believe how much Jamie had accomplished in a short space of time. He’d made a small rectangular kitchen table for them and three chairs that fitted around it perfectly, he’d cleaned the original sofa which was in the house and added a small table to go near it for storage, he’d even made their bed from scratch too and had begun to build a crib beside it. Claire couldn’t help but throw her arms around her husband so thankful for the amount of effort he’d put in. The house had come with the basic appliances and furniture but it was missing the extras touches and the items they would need in the future. 

“I know there’s still a lot to be done Sassenach and I’m nowhere near finished,” he explained, his eyes wandering to the half stained walls and dirty floorboards. He also swore quietly to himself seeing he hadn’t moved the tools away from the room that he assumed would be their bedroom. It let the most light in and had a beautiful view that looked out to the fields in the distance. he imagined watching their children run and play outside and being able to stand in this room to see every second of joy. 

“It’s perfect” she smiled, her arms linking around his waist as her head fell naturally against his chest. 

“Aye, the lass is right” Mrs. Graham added, proudly tapping the Scotsman’s on his shoulder. “The place was barely livable a few days ago and you’ve turned it into the start of a home”.

Claire explored more the cottage, opening up the cupboards and seeing some kitchenware and particularly a china set that looked brand new. She couldn’t help but wonder where they had come from, She raised an eyebrow to ask Jamie but before she could speak Mrs. Graham answered. 

“Call it housewarming present my dear” she simply said. Claire knew better than to try protest as the old lady wouldn’t have it and she’d be fighting a losing battle. Plus, if there’s anything her time in the past taught her was it was rude to not accept a gift, especially from a Scot. 

Within a few days, a routine had been established in the Fraser household. Jamie would work during the daylight hours at Mr. Simms farm and would always pop back at lunchtime to check on his wife, though he’d been using the excuse that he loved her cooking to make it seem less like he was keeping an eye on her. Claire had found herself beginning to do some small decorating touches to their home, making it that little bit more personal by adding vases of flowers and decorating the walls in brighter colours. Whilst she was still quite early in her pregnancy she wanted to get as much done as she could before she got bigger and Jamie would start to protest and ensure she was relaxing. Jamie would come home in the evenings and begin to make yet more furniture and start working on the nursery that was his next project. Mrs. Graham tried to make a short visit in the afternoons when she was on a break from her housekeeping duties, of course, she couldn’t attend on Sundays due to several church services but she made up for it on Saturday where she stayed half the day to chat and help Claire prepare the house more. 

“I have no idea what I’m going to do once the house is complete!” Claire laughed out loud. So much of all of their energy was being spent on the house and the upkeep that even she was in awe at the amount they’d gotten done in the short week they’d lived there. 

Mrs. Graham nodded agreeing. “Aye, it’s definitely keeping you both busy. How about medicine again? Have you considered that?” She asked. She had seen the magic powers of medicine this woman possessed. Not many were so wise and had the instinct Claire did. The habits and knowledge she’d picked up from the 17th century were invaluable against the new medical terms that were being revealed every day. 

“I haven’t spoken to Jamie yet...but I would like to try become a doctor once the baby is here and settled” she spoke aloud for the first time. She had often thought of how her life would change and what she dreamed of since finding Jamie and the new baby of which had been dreams of her since marrying Jamie. But now she needed a new focus, a side project. 

“A doctor? Oh my!” Mrs. Graham wasn’t shocked by her revelations if anything she could have predicted that their Claire wouldn’t be so easily displaced. Her knowledge was one of a doctor who the role and title would only be necessary. 

“If there’s anyone who can do it, it’s you Claire,” she said supportively seeing the nerves already setting in at just at the mere mention of her revealing her ambitious dream. 

“They’re finally allowing women to work in surgery and I saw a few programmes nearby that are offering a few positions to women” Claire confirmed. She had been listening discretely and overheard several of the doctors discussing the latest news. 

“Until then though, you have this wee one to think about” Mrs. Graham pointed to the bump that seemed to grow bigger with every visit. 

Claire rubbed her stomach gently, her hand lingering for a second. “I definitely do… I wouldn’t even think about any of that until the baby was old enough anyway,” She explained. Despite the goals in her life, which she knew Jamie would always support, she wanted to make sure that their baby’s childhood was a loving and fulfilled one, unlike the one she experienced. Though her parents had loved her, she lost so much valuable time with them and was would do anything to ensure this baby would never have the same fate. 

“I think you’re going to be a wonderful mother Claire”

Claire looked out of the window, her thoughts slightly terrifying her as she wanted to agree but didn’t know the answers yet. “I hope so. Jamie is amazing with children so I’m lucky” She smiled in awe remembering him with nephew and nieces back in Lallybroch.

Bringing her out of her daydreams she heard a loud knock on the door. she looked up to Mrs. Graham who was mirroring the concerned expression.

“Jamie isn’t due back for a few hours,” She said worriedly. 

“Stay here lass, I’ll go” Mrs. Graham suggested. only two people knew that someone was living in this cottage and she didn’t suspect the visitor would be the other one that wasn’t her.


	9. Fields Of Gold

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you like always! Your comments make me smile so much and I love hearing your theories and pointing out similarities I hadn't even realised! 
> 
> I promise some more drama will be coming soon... but for now, enjoy the longest chapter ever and getting to know more about some of the other characters who have become a part of the Fraser family.

Claire anxiously sat on the edge of the wooden chair, her eyes watching like a hawk as Mrs. Graham approached the door. With every step, Claire felt her breathing rapidly increase until she found her chest tightening and struggling to calm down. Claire knew how dangerous it was for her blood pressure to be this high and especially after the last time she was pregnant instant fear set in. she breathed deeply, her eyes tightly closed as she held onto her stomach using any strength she had left to try to regulate her breathing to a steady and healthy pace again. 

Mrs. Graham herself was surprised by the fear she felt as her hand touched the cold metal of the lock and pulled on the doorknob to open it up, the possibility that she could be responsible for allowing a stranger into the home of someone she’d protected and cared for thus far. It was then it dawned on her that the fear she felt was similar to that of when her own children were young. Claire had been someone she connected too even in those initial and short hours they first met, and since her return, she had found herself almost retreating into a mother role to help aid her and Jamie. The fact Claire had never spoken of the family besides Frank had made her wonder if she had any and that normally meant they didn’t. It was one skill she picked up from all her time in church, was to identify a lost and lonely soul. 

“Yes?” Mrs. Graham called out, her body remaining firmly behind the door but it was open enough she could hear their response clearly. Swallowing hard she waited for a response. 

“Mrs. Graham, is it really you lassie?” The familiar voice chanted back like a song. 

Mrs. Graham blinked several times before throwing her head around the gap and into the outdoors where she knew she recognised the voice of the stranger. His accent was so familiar as it had a hint of English mixed in with a strong Scottish tone. 

“Bill... I...” She smiled widely, pulling the door quickly open and endowing him in a hug that almost knocked him flying. It had been years since Bill had last visited but his appearance remained unaltered, though his hair was greyer than before. 

“It’s been a long time has it not?” he laughed. He had first met Mrs. Graham at her house, he was a good friend of her late husband’s and often came round throughout the week to be spoilt by unlimited cups of teas and of course he was given a cheeky biscuit or two that he knew she was saving just for his visits.

“It has” She smiled, her mind revisiting the many wonderful times they had spent together. “What brings you here?” She mentioned almost remembering where she was and it was definitely wasn’t her home several miles away. she looked into the hall to see Claire shuffling slowly, a confused expression on her face as she watched the two long lost friends reunite again. 

“I’m looking for a Claire… you see” The man scratched the top of his head. that was all the information he‘d been given at the time. “Mr. Simms sent me here” He further explained. With the mention of Jamie’s employer, Claire rushed to the door almost pushing the door off its hinges to enquire what had happened.   
“I’m Claire, is something wrong?” She said all too quickly. The panic had caused her face to go a ghostly white shade as she stumbled over her words. Mrs. Graham put her hand on Claire’s shoulder as if to comfort her somewhat. The fear in Claire’s eyes was almost too much to bear. 

“Mr. Simms asked if you’d come with me right away?” He asked, despite it being more of a command than a request. 

“Is he okay?” Both Claire and Mrs. Graham said almost in a repetition of each other. Mr. Simms was ageing quickly and Claire knew from the stories Jamie told her that he wasn’t stopping or slowing down on the amount of work he was doing. He was going longer than Jamie and without breaks and more so often doing heavy labour in the fields. She knew it wouldn’t be long till she was asked to check him over and be the one to medical tell him to slow down. 

“Aye, oh lass he’s perfectly well, fitter than me you see” He joked, his hand proudly rubbing over the rounded belly he owned. 

“Well then who Bill?” Mrs. Graham asked almost naively towards the situation. 

“Well, it’s Mr. Fraser you see...” That was all the friendly stranger needed to say before Claire raced off into another room grabbing her bag which she’d been slowly collecting and organising. Rushing back towards the front door with a coat now wrapped around her shoulders, Bill didn’t need to be told twice and walked towards his car and opened the doors to back seats and front passenger seats. 

“He’s on one of the fields a few fields from here… but if we get in the car we can get there quicker” Bill suggested. 

Claire nodded and climbed into the back of the car, letting Mrs. Graham take the available seat next to her friend. 

Bill had indeed been right; the drive was short but definitely quicker than walking through the fields that were full of grain and wheat that could grow up the size of Claire alone. The car had barely been parked on the dirt track before Claire jumped out and walked fast towards the tree trunk where her husband and Mr. Simms were sat. 

“James Alexander Malcolm Mackenzie Fraser” Claire didn’t hesitate once as she approached her husband. if he didn’t know before that she was angry he would now. 

“Ahh boy, you’re in for it” Mr. Simms snickered seeing the young man’s wife anger similar to his late wife. That look meant only one thing and the use of the full name was never a good sign. He could see her temper rising as her footsteps were louder than bears, as she carefully made sure to avoid the twigs and loose stones on the soft ground. 

“How many middle names do ye need lad” Bill commented from behind where he was walking at a slower pace directly opposite Mrs. Graham who almost shrugged at the suggestion. 

“Claire I....” 

“Jamie really? How could you of been so stupid?” Claire bent down on the floor, able to access the wound on his arm much better than if she was to stand and lean over. She wouldn’t admit it right now but her back had been giving her some trouble as her stomach was growing so crouching would be much more comfortable. She pressed down onto the wound on his arm harder than she normally would, though it wouldn’t kill him nor harm him more it definitely communicated how bloody angry she was. 

“Sassenach let me explain” he tried, wincing as she pushed down further into the open wound, causing more trickles of blood to ooze down his suntanned arm. 

“Don’t you bloody Sassenach me James Fraser!” She warned him and he knew not to protest anymore for now. He simply sat as still as he could despite the increasing pain in his arm. 

“Would someone like to explain to me what happened then?” Mrs. Graham asked, she finally walked over to see what was happening, giving Claire some space to deal with her husband before asking the questions she would likely need to know in order to treat him effectively. 

“Well you see... me and the lad were cutting up the tree for the harvest” Mr. Simms explained, everyone’s eyes went immediately to half the broken up tree the men were currently sat on. “We thought we heard something approaching from over there, so we looked up and when we looked down Jamie’s arm was covered in blood… I’m sorry Claire” Mr. Simms apologised. Claire could see the guilt in his eyes at his own stupidity as much as Jamie’s. It had been a rooky mistake but one which could have been more fatal had they not looked back in time. 

Claire fiddled in her bag trying to find more clean rags to tie around the wound whilst she tried to clean it. She hadn’t brought any freshwater and the only thing she knew was in her bag would be pure alcohol. She paused, debating whether or not to pull it out, they could probably get the back to the house but Claire wasn’t keen on moving him with the wound still open and especially with how bumpy the ride back would be too. 

“Claire, you need to clean it don’t ye?” Jamie assisted his wife. He had watched her too many times to not remember the sequence of steps she took whenever she treated a patient. 

“I do Jamie… but I only have pure alcohol on me…” She hesitated, and that’s when Jamie realised why she hadn’t poured the liquid onto his skin yet.   
“Do it Sassenach... I can take it” he grunted his teeth together as he waited for the pain to come. She had done this before and it was almost worse than some of the permanent injuries he’d gain in his short life so far. As Claire took the lift off the small bottle, she closed her eyes before opening them quickly and allowing the liquid to set into the open wound, feeling her husband jitter as it touched the skin, everyone else around them by this point had also turned their heads away.

“Is there any left?” Jamie asked after a few minutes. He feared if he spoke before his voice would break. 

“Yes…” Claire confirmed, handing him the bottle and watching him pour the rest down his throat as quickly as he could. 

Now that Claire had cleaned the wound, she would need to stitch it up or close it the best way she could. It wasn’t too deep, but deep enough the skin most likely wouldn’t heal on its own. 

“Bill…do you think you could take us to the hospital please?” Claire asked the stranger, he nodded straight away not even considering the question. 

“Sassenach I won’t go to the hospital” Jamie protested. “I don’t like ‘em!” 

Claire rolled her eyes. “Jamie your wound needs to be stitched up” 

“So you do it… like you did before” Jamie suggested, she’d taken care of his wounds more times than he liked to admit. He trusted no one more than his own wife and he wasn’t planning on going back on his promise of no more hospital for the both of them until the bairn was coming. 

Despite her better judgment, Claire agreed. Getting her husband to do anything he didn’t want too was almost impossible; it was the same trait she’d seen in Jenny. “Mrs. Graham, would you mind helping me find the needle and thread please?” Claire asked her friend. She didn’t want to bend over into the bag too much as her hands were firmly focused on the wound. 

“Just make it quick Sassenach” Jamie chuckled, squeezing his wife’s free hand, trying to give her the encouragement she needed to proceed. There was a reason you weren’t allowed to treat family and Claire understood this more so now. 

Fourteen stitches later and Jamie’s wound was officially mended the best Claire could manage whilst in the middle of a field. 

Stepping away for a moment she looked down at the ground recognising one of the many plants that grew in the highlands, though this was a rarer type of herb that was often used for healing. It was one of the many things Geillis had taught her during her stay at Castle Leoch. 

“There’s some more of that on the field behind this one?” Mr. Simms said. “It’s on the way back to yours actually” Claire smiled at the information. She found herself going on daily walks to look for more things to collect, having never thought of looking on the fields so close to the cottage. 

“Jamie said before ye like to collect herbs and sorts?” Mr. Simms looked at Claire as her focus remained on the grounds around her.

“I do… an old friend taught me many things” Claire’s answer was as honest yet didn’t quite mention that the friend had been 200 years in the past. 

“I think we should be getting Jamie back now Claire” Mrs. Graham suggested, she had watched the young man practically fall asleep on the wooden tree trunk knowing that his ordeal would have definitely been behind why he was so tired. 

Helping Jamie back into Bill’s car, Mrs. Graham took the front seat again. “I think I might walk back if that’s okay? I’d like to collect some more of those herbs Mr. Simms mentioned” Claire said, she’d luckily chosen to bring her coat which huge pockets that seemed to never end inside of the material so she knew she could get at least a few handfuls collected. 

“Claire… I… “ Jamie began. He knew the sun was beginning to set and he didn’t like the idea of Claire walking through the fields alone if it suddenly turned dark. She’d shown him more than one time that she could take care of herself but he wouldn’t risk or challenge that fact. 

“I’ll walk her back” Mr. Simms offered. 

Claire smiled and looked at Mr. Simms to mouth a thank you. 

It was a little while before they reached the area he had told Claire about. Seeing the rows of herbs she needed she couldn’t help but scope them up. 

“May I?” She paused, enquiring that it was okay to start pulling his property up. 

“Of course...” Mr. Simms replied, watching her carefully remove the herb from the ground with the root still perfectly intact. 

“It’s good to see old medicine and healing techniques still being used, lass. My grandmother used these herbs often. I think was her who planted them everywhere around the land” Claire sighed, knowing it was most likely another healer who purposely tried to plant this herb in the hopes of a huge crop emerging. 

Claire had collected all that she could from the small patch of herbs. With several pockets full she stood up and headed in the direction of the cottage. They could just about see it in the distance, like a speck of dust. 

“I’ve never met someone before that didn’t want more answers” Claire spoke aloud, seeing the farmer look over in her direction. They began to walk at a slower pace.  
“All I want to know is that your safe…” he said honestly. 

“We are, now” Claire confirmed. He knew she was referring to the small cottage he had given them as their safe haven. 

“Did Mrs. Graham happen to mention how we met?”

“No...” Claire paused, unsure, as the number of stories she’d heard in the last week was enough for a lifetime. She forgot how much Mrs. Graham loved to chat and being in hospital with nothing to do meant she’d learnt just about everything there was about Mrs. Graham.

“It was at church... my wife passed away a few years before the war and I wasn’t coping... I wasn’t doing anything” he half laughed, the guilt evident with every word he spoke. “I’d begun drinking...and I moved into the cottage... I couldn’t be at home surrounded by all of her memories and Mrs. Graham spotted me and she talked to me... not just talked but she listened” he retold the memory so clear Claire could imagine every word. “That cottage was my saviour too…” He confessed. He was happy it was being used again and even happier it was to heal others. 

“I miss her every day... do you know what that feels like?” He asked, almost rhetorical. 

“I do actually” Claire replied. “My parents died when I was young”

“I see...” he replied, feeling guilty he’d brought it up. Many people had lost loved ones during the wars but it was harder for him not meeting anyone who’s loved ones died before. His guilt ate him away as knew of friend’s who had lost their whole family in the bombings or to wars abroad yet he was feeling sorry for himself for losing his wife in the most humane and peaceful way possible. 

“It gets easier you know...” Claire convincingly said. Despite wanting to ask him more questions Claire knew that talking about it was the first step and sometimes talking more would only cause that person to retract and hide. 

“She’s a lovely lady…Mrs. Graham that is” Claire added, changing the topic slightly to ease the awkwardness that grown between the two adults. They still had a field to walk across together before they reached the cottage. 

“Aye,” Mr. Simms agreed. “Bill is a good man too by the way lass, he won’t tell anyone you’re here” Mr. Simms confirmed almost washing away all of her fears and doubts since the man had been known to them only this afternoon. 

“Thank you, I appreciate that... I’m glad you sent him for us though” 

“It was a hard decision but I trust my life in his hands and I wouldn’t risk yours or Jamie’s safety...” Claire knew that Mr. Simms has grown fond of Jamie and likewise.   
“I won’t ask any more questions lass... I mean unless you want me too but except to ask if it’s anything criminal that’s causing you to hide?”

“No” Claire shook her head quickly. “It’s definitely not criminal. Just someone I’d rather avoid who may hurt Jamie” she confessed. She wanted to add more but now wasn’t the time and she already trusted more people than she had the whole three years she’d been with Jamie. There was also always the fear that this wasn’t just her secret to tell. 

“Aye... well that’s enough of that. Just know, if you need anything ye can come to me?” He stopped and looked directly at Claire, meaning every single word he said. 

“Thank you,” Claire said sincerely. it seemed what had begun as just them had quickly turned into a small group of people they now had to support and help them.


	10. Bricks and Ruins

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I start every chapter with a thank you but I am so thankful for every single comment!
> 
> We're starting to head towards the dreaded ***** word... I mean you all knew it was coming... This is a filler chapter as such but it's setting the story up a little bit more for reasons that will make sense soon!
> 
> Thank you again and I hope you're all well!

Within the next month, a well thought out and executed routine had been fully established. Now four months pregnant and a bump that was beginning to show; especially in the outfits of the 20th century, Claire couldn’t feel anything but content for the first time in such a long time. She longed for this…peace. A place to call her own. Even though the events that had got them to now hadn’t been the smooth process she hoped for, she couldn’t help but think it had all been worth it. Everything she had wanted for her and Jamie was beginning to happen and their lives seemed almost calm for the moment. They were able to enjoy each other, each other’s bodies and be as one. They were going to be able to raise their baby the way they wanted and most importantly without fear. 

Their Saturday’s had now become a small intimate affair between them both, Mrs. Graham, Bill and even Mr. Simms who declared himself every Saturday off too after speaking in lengths with Claire about his health. Mrs. Graham had confessed that no other man nor woman would have been allowed to be as blunt as Claire was but she was eternally grateful she persisted and he listened. He even began to follow the short routine she’d provided that had included regular breaks and been underlined several times so he couldn’t read and scroll past them. Noticing the now permanent colour in his cheeks and already fewer comments about his back and knees she knew he was abiding by her suggestions. She missed medicine, how could she not? It was a part of her and something she’d been good at. Healing others was a talent she possessed and being able to still treat minor injuries kept her needs satisfied. There was another small cottage besides Mr. Simms, their only neighbours for miles who had several children, almost every day one of them found themselves with a new scrap or sometimes slightly worse injuries. Mr. Simms had introduced Claire and Jamie as his nephew and his wife; though it was a slight lie they’d become his unintentional family. The neighbours let Claire tend to them, often for the price of vegetables which they grew instead of money as she always refused but lately her cravings were for sweet delights so when they baked cakes she couldn’t say no. 

Jamie had settled too. He’d helped Mr. Simms or Paul as he was now known to the young couple. His history with horses had come to light and over the last few weeks they worked together to restore one of the old large stables into something new. He even went with him for the day to a local market to find their first few thoroughbreds. Though they were nothing like the champions Jamie had been selected to work with in the past they were mighty beasts who with training would indeed double or even triple what they were brought for. They had also brought a few foals that needed homes in the hopes of raising them from the start to ensure the best outcome. Jamie had been given this as his extra project and Paul had already promised him an extra share if things worked out. Jamie had seen one of the mares with her foal that was being sold separately and began to bargain with the little wages he earned just to ensure they went together. he wasn't sure why this bothered him but he knew it was something he needed to do. Paul had told him to put his own money away and brought the mare for Jamie for his thanks and appreciation, with a secure and permanent home on his land. 

“I canna let ye do that” Jamie hesitated, pushing away Paul’s hand with the few silver coins in. 

“Aye,” he replied back. He was just as stubborn if not more than Jamie was. “Call it an investment” he suggested. 

Jamie wasn’t sure what to do but remembered how rude it was to accept a gift and especially one that may bring prosperity in the future. He nodded and allowed the older man to hand the coins over and sign the papers, looking and double-checking that he saw his own name is written out instead of the farmers. 

“Now ye can’t say nothing” he laughed and walked back over to keep examining the other horses that were for sale. 

Claire's home life had gotten busier by the day, with her supplies fully stocked and back the way she used to like them she welcomed her regular visits from Mrs. Graham who she noticed had started bringing bill as a regular extra with her. Claire watched from afar seeing the older two giggle and reminisce about the old times. They were the only two who apparently didn’t see what everyone else did. 

“If you like Bill you should ask him out,” Claire said forwardly taking a sip from her cup of tea. It was just the two of them today as Bill has been roped into helping Jamie and Paul with helping to settle the new additions into their stables. 

“Lassie...I don’t know where you got that idea from...” Mrs. Graham almost choked on her own warm liquid and put the cup of tea firmly down before responding. Had they really been that obvious? 

“Really?” Claire raised her eyebrows suspiciously, bringing the cup back over her mouth to hide the smile that grew. Obvious my ass. They’d been practically like teenagers. 

“Yes... I don’t know what you’re implying... we’re just friends...good friends” She thought. 

“Good friends, who might be more though?” Claire asked. She wasn't prying but wanted only the best for the woman who'd quickly become a part of their family.

“I don’t know” Mrs. Graham said flustered. She hadn’t quite allowed her imagination to explore that far yet. 

“You know from what you’ve told me of your late husband he seemed a fine man” Claire paused, Mrs. Graham was hanging on every word she said. “He wouldn’t want you to be alone forever...” Claire sympathised. 

“You can’t know that...” Mrs. Graham dismissed her comments straight away. It was if her greatest fears were being presented on a plate in front of her. 

“I do. And for someone who knows so much, I’m surprised you don’t” Claire winked and left the conversation at that. She’d given her older friend a lot to think about. Claire couldn't help but feel somewhat similar to how Mrs. Graham must have felt. She had loved Frank, somewhere deep down she knew she'd always love him but then she met Jamie...Letting go of Frank wasn't easy, it wasn't something she did lightly either and she understood deeply the turmoil that occurs when trying to make the right decision. 

“Lass, I meant to tell you earlier, I found what you asked for” Mrs. Graham almost said in a code Claire didn’t understand how to interpret. But as soon as she pushed the papers towards her she knew exactly what they were. 

“Is it?” She asked looking down at the brown coloured envelope. 

“Aye” was all Mrs. Graham replied. She got up and left Claire to her own thoughts and inspection of the papers alone. Claire knew she probably wandered towards the men on the fields. If she looked out of their bedroom window she’d surely be able to spot them. 

Her hands played with the delicate paper in front of her, twirling the curled edges around in-between her fingers. It had a musky smell she knew she wouldn’t be forgetting anytime soon as it made even her stomach feel sick, her throat beginning to spasm before she knew it she was throwing up this mornings content into the kitchen sink; the closest place she could reach that point. Her morning sickness or just general sickness as it never happened in the mornings alone had gotten worse in the last few weeks. She remembered almost like a flashback in her mind how she'd gotten these papers in her hands, the conversations that led to this moment. Jamie had taken his first day off only a few days ago to make sure she wasn’t ill because he was so concerned. Handing her cups of water regularly as she refused to eat pretty much anything til she felt somewhat better. Her rubbed her small bump and whispered words in Gaelic to their child. After he told her he wished for their baby to stop making his wife so sick and that he still loved him very much. 

“It’s a boy is it huh?” Claire smiled for the first time that week. Only Jamie would be the one to distract her so easily. She’d almost forgotten why she was in stuck in their bed. 

“Aye,” Jamie proudly replied. “A wee lad just like his Da” 

Claire stroked the side of his face and let her hand linger. She had really and truly married the man of her dreams. Sensitive yet affirmative, kind yet compassionate and more and above all he’d protect her anyone else he cared for which every inch of his body and soul. 

“Do you think our parents would be proud of us?” Claire said almost questioning her own question. She had been hesitant the whole pregnancy with Faith and her anxieties had subsided at all with this little one.

“Aye, Claire...” he said, his hand instantly going to the bump, his fingers spreading protectively. “They’d all be so happy for us. My Ma and Da would be so happy I found someone like you, they’d probably be like Jenny and question why I married a Sassenach but then they’d meet you and they’d see what I fell in love with...” Jamie said without stuttering or taking his eyes off his wife. “And your parents, well... they’d be delighted to see how you’ve grown up, how you take care of people, of me, and knowing that you were the strongest of us all” his head now met hers, their foreheads touching. He could feel the tears dripping down her cheeks. He’d said everything she needed to hear and more.

"Did I upset ye Sassenach?" He asked suddenly concerned by her tears. 

"No Jamie... you said exactly the right thing" She smiled at him, easing his worries. 

“Would you want to know what happened to Jenny and Ian... and Lallybroch?” Claire asked. 

Jamie didn’t speak for several minutes. Debating the question in his head before quickly saying “Aye... aye I would” 

Claire knew exactly who to ask to help her meet this request. After all, Jamie had done for them she owed him this and the answers he’d gain. The closure of knowing what happened to his family home and his family, though long gone, he needed these facts. Almost a reminder of how precious life was. Since the war she knew he had nightmares occasionally where he’d call out his friends and his families names, asking them if they were safe if they got away unharmed. It was a pang of guilt he’d carry to his grave. Though Claire knew he didn’t regret one second choosing her and their unborn child she couldn’t help see the grief and mourning of a family he once had and never said goodbye too. 

As she looked at the paper again, her mind brought her back to the present and the situation in front of her. They were almost sealed so it was clear no other Frasers had been requesting these documents for a while. She looked first at the documents signing over Lallybroch that Jamie had given Fergus to give to Ian and Jenny. Her signature was a tear-stained mess but it was still clear enough, she’d remembered how hard she’d focused just to spell her own name correctly when her brain was so distracted. Touching this piece of paper was the closest she'd been to Fergus in such a long time. She missed the boy who had captured her heart. Claire wished there was a way to bring him here with them, he would have fitted in perfectly, helping Jamie and protecting his younger sibling almost as well as his Da did. Though this would never likely be a possibility her fears were eased slightly by knowing Jenny and Ian would take him in as their own once there was no news of either of them and raise hi a part of their family. 

Lallybroch has been left unattended once several more generations lived there and eventually it was inhabited just before the start of the First World War. It had never been taken down but simply left in the ruins it remained in. It broke her heart to think of the only place she called home alone and in ruins. Without children laughing and running around in circles... as she looked through the list of owners she recognised several more Fraser Murray’s who must have been grandchildren and great-grandchildren to Jenny and Ian and that made them her and Jamie’s family too. It was strange to imagine that this beautiful place hadn’t been brought or sold to anyone. The last Fraser Murray died alone with no family. Claire could relate to how that man must of felt. She once had no one. 

She looked at the papers at the remaining papers, these similar in colour and age, all square and with slightly different handwriting to the documents regarding the estate. They looked like death certificates. She breathed deeply, almost feeling like she was betraying Jamie by looking at them first, though she wanted to be able to comfort him if it was bad news. She closed her eyes after reading through the papers, tears eloping and scaling her cheeks to her chin. 

Jamie had come in at the right or wrong time Claire wasn’t sure. He instantly went over to her and knelt by her side, brushing away the stray tears and kissing her lips softly and loving. 

“Sassenach what’s wrong?” He asked.

Mrs. Graham was at the door and the saw the couple knowing what was about to happen. “Lads how we go get some things from town and come later?” She suggested. The men knew that something was happening and did as they were instructed. Mrs. Graham would tell them all about in the car ride it took to get back to the town.

“I found them Jamie,” Claire said.

Jamie didn’t know what to do say or to do. He simply stood up and sat in the free chair next to his wife and looked at the table. He could see the several sheets of paper Claire was clinging onto. 

“May I?” He asked. 

Claire nodded and pushed them across the table towards Jamie. Her hands went to her swelling bump as she watched his expressions whilst he read the same documents she’d already seen. 

“Did you already read these Sassenach?” 

Claire looked down at the ground and just about anywhere other than where her husband face was. “I did...I couldn’t wait...”

“Dinna apologise Claire... I’m glad ye did” He took her hands into his and showed her he was okay. Claire had loved his family almost as much as he did. The fact she actually wanted to see and know what happened meant more to him than she’d realise. Jenny had grown quite fond of Claire and vice versa. She'd always wanted a sister growing up and she finally got one and even better for he was that she was just as feisty as she was. They were a match in heaven. 

“What does this mean?” He said looking at the paperwork on his beloved estate. Seeing his name was like a cold reminder of the past, one of which his ghost had escaped and haunted him. The name of his nephew below his and the great-nephew that he never got to meet. 

“I think it means no one owns Lallybroch Jamie...there might be a chance we could get it back...” Claire said hopeful, she hadn't looked at the logistics of her comments but knew if it wasn't anyone's there was a chance they could file a request to buy the land. The house was in ruins, by the comments on the paper so there wouldn't be many people fighting them for it. 

He put down the papers regarding the house and picked up the others. The same ones Claire had left til last too. Jamie breathed deeply before reading Ian's first...he felt his own chest competing for air as he began to feel himself getting uncontrollably worked up. He went to pick up Jenny's and stopped. His hand dropping the single sheet of paper before his eyes could focus on the text. 

"I can't Sassenach... I can't do it..." He confessed...“I Dinna want to be playing with the past Claire...” he threw the remaining papers against the wooden table, causing them to fly everywhere. “I shouldn’t even be here let alone seeing how all of my family died alone... without me” he roughly rubbed his own eyes, the tears at bay and threatening to fall whether there’s was an audience or not. 

“Jamie... I” Claire stood up to join him, wanting to comfort him any way she could. She had almost begun to regret getting these papers, especially Ian and Jenny's. Why had she been so stupid to think he'd be okay once he read what they confirmed. His hands buried around his face as Claire's hand went to touch his shoulder. 

He pushed her hand off him, shocked at how he’d reacted to the only touch he craved and loved. Her face was what hurt him the most. It was fear in her eyes. Fear of him. 

“I gotta go Sassenach...” he took off before Claire could catch up to him. Heading towards the fields. 

Claire looked out of the window, trying to shout and scream for Jamie to come back, to say she was sorry and everything was fine. She knew Jamie would never hurt her, it was the only thing she knew truly. Claire looked down at her bump. “He’ll be back soon... I hope” she whispered the last part.


	11. Faster Than Lightning

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you again for all of your wonderful and lovely comments! Apologies for how late this chapter is. I've been getting rather stressed over my course and had my first interview this week as well so it's all very go go go! 
> 
> Two more chapters til the dreaded ***** is coming... 
> 
> I hope you enjoy this chapter and I'm already working on the next as we speak!

Claire had been waiting for over an hour for Jamie to reappear, and as another hour came and went there was still no sign of him. Mrs. Graham, Paul and Bill arrived back promptly, trying not to pry but evidentially it was clear by the expressions on their faces they’d been told somewhat was going on. Mrs. Graham had spoken hushedly to Claire to confirm that she hadn't disclosed anything about the past or any further secrets she knew the young couple wasn’t ready to share, just simply that she’d helped her find some of Jamie’s long lost family and an associated clans estate. 

“When did you say he went off lass?” Paul asked he’d been pacing the length of the kitchen continuously for the last ten minutes, it was a shock that the floor hadn't begun to dent or mould around his footprints as he dragged his heavy boots across the stained wooden planks. 

“A while ago” Claire replied. If it wasn’t for the growing bump she too would be pacing but it wouldn’t be in the kitchen it would have been around the countryside they were located in. It was beginning to get dark, clouds were now beginning to cover the skies as the light seemed farther away than ever. She had no choice but to stay put for now. She also knew there were three people in the house who wouldn’t let her set foot alone or outside in the dark even if her quest was a justified one. 

Paul could sense the young wife's desires to leave the house and search for her husband. Jamie had spent many of their conversations telling him about her fierce she was, about her determination and strength. Knowing he could help ease some of her worries he stepped in. “Bill, why don’t we go check the farm in case he’s gone there?” 

Jamie had grown fond of the farm, referring it to his safe haven beside the small cottage. The horses had given him a much-needed distraction and focus from the voices in his head, and also the constant worry he felt for his wife and leaving her in her condition. 

“That sounds like a good idea” Bill agreed. “Will you lasses be alright here til we’re back?” 

Mrs. Graham’s cheeked turned a shade of red before she stood up and faced the window to avoid anyone else noticing the sudden change in her appearance. 

“We’ll be fine thank you” Claire spoke for the both of them knowing full well her conversation with Mrs. Graham this morning would be playing on her mind. She'd seen her quick and swift movements to avoid both of the men in the room. 

As the men left Mrs. Graham walked back over to Claire. Ensuring they were both sat the kitchen table with yet another cup of tea. Claire had grown to love the stuff since having Mrs. Graham in her life. There was nothing a cup of tea couldn't solve, or so it seemed anyway. 

“You weren’t to know he’d react like this lass” Mrs. Graham comforted her friend, the silence from Claire was nothing but sure tell sign she was deep in thought and full of regret for the decisions she made the last few weeks. 

Claire shook her head furiously. “I did... that’s the worst part” She admitted. Though it hurt her to admit her wrongs she couldn’t deny anymore what she’d done and caused. Jamie had lost everyone the second he went through the stones with her, unlike anyone else she understood how that felt. Yes, he had her and their unborn child whereas Claire quite literally had no one, but Claire had only Frank she loved and left. Jamie had already been through so much in the short life she’d known him and his family was all he had left. The bond between him and Jenny was something so fierce and strong she didn’t think anything could break it, not even the Greek gods themselves. 

“He lost everyone...” Claire began, the words suddenly flowing out of her without failing to stop. “He lost everyone he loved, he came through the stones by accident with me... I know he doesn’t regret it” She said almost sensing what Mrs. Graham next question would be. “But... I know he thinks about them daily and how they are or were doing. When he agreed for me to look I don’t think he wanted me too. He said it to please me... to satisfy me...” Claire sighed. 

Mrs. Graham remained silent, her hands covering Claire’s as she supported her the only way she knew. “When I met ye for the first time Claire I knew there was something special about ye,” she said. 

Claire looked away sheepishly; being called special was definitely a word she’d never heard before. Unique was her how Uncle Lamb had described her on various occasions. 

“Jamie knew the risk lass, he knew the chances of you finding information was likely and still agreed. He’s strong, aye, he’s stronger than most men I’ve met and I’ve met quite a fair few through the church and services...he needs closure... he may not have been ready for it today but he’ll thank ye for it someday” she reminded Claire of why she first began the mission of hunting down his family tree. Jamie did need closure, he did need to know what happened, how Lallybroch was in the state it was in. He always asked for the truth from her and nothing but that. He was getting it now and when he realised he needed it he'd look again at the documents.

“You would of loved Jenny... just like Jamie but the girl equivalent!” Claire couldn’t stop the smile that crept whenever she thought of the two siblings bickering and giving each other grief. It was when they were quiet and nice to each other that everyone questioned what had happened between them. Jenny had become the sister she never knew she wanted. Growing up on her own she'd always wanted a sibling to share her time with but finally having one was better than she imagined. 

“Did you enjoy your time back there?” Mrs. Graham asked. It was a question she’d been dying to know. She hadn’t told Claire but when she was younger she too had tried to go through the stones. She believed the stories and wanted nothing more than to explore and escape this world she was in. 

“I did... eventually” she laughed lightly, the chuckle hiding the grin that grew. “As soon as I met Jamie and realised what I wanted I didn’t want to leave... I almost did at one point... but that’s when I realised I’d fell in love with a stubborn, auburn coloured haired Scotsman 200 years in the past and I couldn’t imagine a life without him” Claire confessed. The moment was still one she thought of before she went to sleep. The moment she came back and asked him to take her home. The look in his eyes or pure desire and love for her was the proof and evidence she needed to know she made the right decision. 

“Ye almost left before?” Mrs. Graham questioned, though she was glad to hear Jamie took hold of her senses in time. 

Claire nodded. “I'd almost been tried for being a witch... I'll explain that part another day" Claire laughed before continuing, though her memories from that day did anything but make her laugh. "Jamie saved me from the trial and asked for me to be completely honest. He asked me if I was a witch. I told Jamie about the stones... where I’d come from... everything” she emphasized the word everything. “He believed me, just like that. He knew somehow I was telling the truth. It's then when he realised every time I'd tried to escape was to get back...to get back to Frank... so he took me back to the stones so I could decide what to do..." 

“Aye, I'm glad ye didn't go through with it.” Mrs. Graham rolled her eyes at the mention of that mans name. It was clear to Claire she wasn’t so fond of the man despite never mentioning this to Claire before. 

A knock on the door brought both women back to the present, exhausted in appearance and the cups in front of them now empty. They looked up to see Bill and Paul entering the cottage with hast. “Sorry lass, he wasn’t there,” Paul said with regret. He wanted to bring back good news but he couldn’t. “He did take the horse though so at least he’s not alone” Bill added to try comfort the young woman. 

“Yes, I suppose you’re right,” Claire said deflated. She hadn’t wanted Jamie to forgive her just yet if he wasn’t ready but to know he wasn’t hurt was all she needed right now. She wanted nothing more than to take back her requests of the papers and for them to go back to their life where they lived blissfully unaware of his family’s passing and the state of their beloved home. She needed to apologise to tell him she was sorry for interfering as she always did. Jamie knew what she was like but still, this was one time she wished she hadn't done as he expected.

Claire suddenly stood up, so quickly Mrs. Graham looked over with a concerned look on her face and her hand instinctively moving towards her growing stomach. "No... we're both fine" Claire comforted her friend. She went over to where the papers had been thrown on the floor, pushing them into one pile and putting back onto the table. Pulling out the papers on Lallybroch she couldn't help but get angry at herself for not thinking of this sooner. 

"Claire... lass... you need to explain what ye thinking," Bill asked. The room was silent as they watched Claire walk around the home with force, heading straight towards the front door where her coat and scarf was hooked up beside it. Pulling the items around herself, ensuring she was protected against the bitter cold the autumn nights brought in she looked back at the group of people who had become her family. 

"Lallybroch...." She said. "He's gone to Lallybroch"


	12. Our Home

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you again! 
> 
> Apologies for not uploading this chapter soon, I've been unwell and in the last weeks of my course so it's been very manic and full-on! 
> 
> I'm sure you can guess who's gonna make an appearance in the next chapter... For now, though enjoy this! I hope it lives up to what some of you wanted! 
> 
> Thank you again for all of your support and encouragement!

The journey to Lallybroch had been long and draining. Claire shuffled uncomfortably in the back of the car, all of the passengers frequently offering to change seats to allow her more room. Bill too had offered various times throughout the journey to stop and allow her to walk around for a moment. She refused at each point, her only need and want was to find Jamie, to hold him and tell him she was sorry. Her discomfort was nothing like how she knew her husband would be feeling right now. 

“How will Jamie know where to go, lass?” Bill asked, breaking the silence that seemed to grow as the road ahead was empty, only them travelling at this tedious time. 

Claire looked out the window, the emerging landscape passing them by at a fast speed, causing memories to light up inside of her. She had never explored the highlands until she met Jamie, she’d never had the desire too, it was pretty for sure but seeing it with Jamie had made it a whole new experience. He’d been the one to show her the wonders this earth had provided them. “He always been good with directions” She commented, it was true he’d been able to use almost any uninhabited object to mark his way. 

As they approached the familiar surroundings Claire held her breath, clutching onto the door handle inside of the car as she began to realise they were getting closer to the estate. She remembered the hills, the daisies that grew almost in a line beside the path that leads directly into the house. The stables in the distance, shaped like a square block stood alone and away from the main building. As the car got closer, Bill cut out the engine. All eyes were on Claire, seeing the single tear roll down her cheek had told them they were here. 

Lallybroch was in front of them. Its beautiful structure still in place showing them what this seventeenth-century building would have once looked like in it’s prime. Though the rest, including the ancient brick that once held it up, was ruined and in crumbled across the ground. the only part that had remained as before was the north-facing tower, what the estate had been named after for its uniqueness. 

Leaving Claire to stand beside the wall that was still acting as a shield to protect the house, Paul walked off to check the stables to see if the stallion Jamie had borrowed was there. 

“Claire, the horse is here… and she has recently been given hay too. He’ll be nearby” Paul confirmed, walking back over to the group and taking his position next to Mrs. Graham and Bill. 

“Claire, we’ll wait over here love” Mrs. Graham interjected before the men stepped foot into the courtyard which led to the home. They nodded in understanding and stayed back. 

Claire was more nervous walking through the gates now than when she had first arrived with Jamie. The wind whirled around almost creating a sand storm as the dust spiralled around in front of her. When it settled that’s when she recognised the silhouette of her husband. 

He was sat with his back to her, firmly on the stone steps that once led into the centre of the home, his feet scraping the ground watching the small stones move with ease. Claire stood and watched him for a moment, his sad expression haunting and deepening her own sadness at the position she had put him in. 

“Claire?” Jamie stared confusingly at the shadow he saw, he could have sworn he’d seen a ghost had it not been for how real she looked. 

Claire didn’t respond but instead walked over to him and sat down on the steps in the vacant space beside him, pulling her skirt from underneath her where it had gotten tangled and flattening it neatly to cover her legs fully. The chilly air was still present it seemed up here in the highlands. She’d welcomed the breeze in the summer months but dreaded its return in the winter. 

Seeing her close to shivering, Jamie pulled his jacket off in one swift move and placed it gently across her shoulders, seeing her instantly pull it tighter for warmth and comfort. “Thank you” she softly replied at his kind gesture. 

“How did ye know I’d be here Sassenach?” Jamie asked, intrigued more than surprised. They’d shared the same mind for longer than he realised, often anticipating the others moves like a game of chess. 

“I know you James Fraser” Claire replied, looking out at the fields ahead of her. This was the place where she had gotten to know her husband, where she discovered his inner secrets, the insecurities that he masked so well anywhere but here, he had been a true and honest version of himself whenever he returned home. The side Claire had loved and admired most above all. She memorized him running around this courtyard chasing his nephew and niece, laughing so loudly it made her bellyache, she replayed that memory whenever she looked down at her growing bump. 

“Were they here?” Claire asked, her eyes diverting towards the bespoke area of the courtyard she had visited with him on various occasions. 

Jamie didn’t respond, just a slight nod to confirm Claire’s suspicions. She could see from where they were sat additional headstones had been added to the small plot of land. 

“I’m glad Jenny dinnae see the house in this state” he replied honestly, he had wished he could remove the images from his own mind, haunting and changing the once happy memories he had. 

Claire remained silent, she too was glad no one else had seen the house like this. Seeing Jamie deep in thought she stood up, he looked up to see if she was okay, his hand instinctively reaching for her stomach.

“Sassenach?” 

“We’re okay Jamie… I’m just going to go over there for a moment” She excused herself, walking towards the stones and sitting herself down on the grass she looked ahead of her. 

“She knows she did wrong lad” Mrs. Graham added, taking the space where Claire had been only moments before, breaking the comfortable silence between them. “She hesitated so much when she told me what she planned ye see…” 

Jamie looked up, hanging on every word. He could see the regret in Claire’s eyes, shadowing the beautiful whisky colour that had captured his heart the first time he loved at her. 

“Did she manage to tell you she put a bid in before ye left last night?” 

Jamie shook his head, focusing on the ground in front of him. He wasn’t too sure what was meant of a bid, though his time in bigger cities had given him a rough idea of what that could entail. 

“She requested the land to be bought... in your name...she asked me if I would support her in her bid, you need a witness you see, I went into town the other day and did it for her as she didn’t want to leave for obvious reasons” Mrs. Graham confirmed, much to Jamie’s delight. Claire had been extra cautious recently and it gave him a piece of mind that allowed him to relax enough to begin to enjoy being in this new world. “When she found out I’d gotten the information about Lallybroch, she didn’t hesitate, lad, she wanted this home back, and back for you.” 

Jamie couldn’t put into words how he felt, confused, scared, excited all mixed into one. He had been given so much new information in the last twenty-four hours it seemed to blur into one big mess of which his brain was supposed to organise and sort. 

“How would Claire afford that though?” 

“She had a few valuable items that I had kept from when she first went through the stones. Frank didn’t take them back with him so when I found the suitcase I kept it. It’s like I knew she’d come back” though Mrs. Graham hadn’t mentioned what the items were they must have been rare treasures to afford the land this house was built on. Even 200 years ago in the past, this land was desired for its rich soil and territorial position.

“She didn’t say anything though?” Jamie confessed. 

“She didn’t want to let you down. She feels more responsible than either you or she can truly imagine lad” she continued “she took you away, though not intentionally, from everyone you ever loved or trusted, she feels that responsibility more than anything. It’s like a dark cloud in her mind constantly reappearing whenever she tries to feel happy she’s home. Though that’s the other thing. She doesn’t feel like she’s home either too. I know she loves the cottage but you should have heard her talking about this place… this was her true home” Mrs. Graham knew she overstepped, sharing the conversations she and Claire had in confidence, but seeing his reaction she needed to ensure Jamie knew how Claire felt, her desire wasn’t to hurt him but in fact the opposite. 

“Did she… get the bid do ye ken?” Jamie asked, his eyes once again full of hope.

Mrs. Graham smiled, nodding delightfully at the man in front of her who had become like a son. “She did lad” 

“Does Claire ken?” 

Mrs. Graham chuckled softly, shaking her head with a grin. “I thought maybe ye would like to do the honours” 

Jamie stood up, leaning down to press a short and sweet kiss to Mrs. Graham’s cheek. 

“We got it Sassenach” Jamie beamed, pulling her to her feet to stand opposite him, his height evidentially towering over her petite frame. 

“Sorry?” 

“Lallybroch, Claire, You got us Lallybroch, you did it” He smiled, his lips pressing against hers with force, lifting her up effortlessly in his arms as he twirled her around before putting her feet back on the ground.


	13. Sky Full of Stars

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you once again! I'm feeling much better now and couldn't stop writing this chapter once I started!
> 
> I had to break it up so the next chapter should hopefully be up soonish!
> 
> Without further ado, here it is...

Neither Jamie nor Claire had anticipated how long Lallybroch would actually take to be restored near anything like they dreamed. The home they envisioned seemed to be further away than they’d realised. Bill had recommended a friend whom he’d known since his school days to come to look at the property, asking for his advice and guidance on the matter. 

As the Scottish architect listed off the work that needed doing and the order in which it should be carried out Jamie couldn’t help but feel disheartened. His plan had been to ensure the home would be ready for when the baby arrived in the autumn. He had imagined them taking their baby home for the first time here. The nursery set up in his childhood bedroom with the crib against the wall where the sun always shone brightly in from the east. It now meant his plans would need to be re-evaluated; he still had his commitments with Paul at the farm and his role in ensuring the horses were trained. 

His first step had begun with trying to rebuild the exterior of the old home. He had wanted to use as many of the original materials from the original architecture as possible. Hoping to rebuild rather than knockdown and start again. That would definitely mean they’d be bringing a toddler rather than an infant here. 

Claire had been invited to help, or his version of allowing her to help, which was more to keep him company and ensure he was still getting to spend quality time with his wife he enjoyed so much. It was mostly only Saturday’s they were able to stay and do as much as possible, it wasn’t the best situation but they’d made the most of it. Sleeping under the stars as they’d done so many times before, but this time it was different. From their tent, they could see the outline of the north-facing tower, the moon illuminating it beautifully against the fabric of their temporary home. 

“Sassenach, look up” Jamie suggested, reaching his hand out to be received by Claire’s. They moved to the edge of the tent and sat next to each other gazing up above them. 

As Claire looked up, she almost choked on the air, completely breathless at the vision above her. “It’s beautiful Jamie” the night sky had been different in Scotland, London had always been over polluted with a heavy fog that blocked this view but out in the middle of the highlands it was as clear as anything. 

“Aye, I ken” Jamie smiled, his eyes not leaving the trail of stars so perfectly aligned it was almost as if it was a message from a higher power. He’d heard stories throughout his childhood of what stars were...what they did...

“My Ma always told me, when I was wee bairn that if you wish upon a star it comes true” Jamie reminisced, his bedtime stories from his Ma were something he still remembered so vividly, the way her animated features always told him the most exciting part and her hands flew all over the place like she was a casting a spell. He’d stay awake ages after a story just remembering the highs and lows but most importantly how happy it made his Ma to tell those stories. 

Claire leaned over, bringing her knees as far up to her chest as they would go considering her growing bump. Every day she seemed to be getting bigger. She moved her head to rest upon the crook of Jamie’s neck like a puzzle piece that fits perfectly. 

“What did you wish for?” Claire asked a few moments later. She’d seen him close his eyes and tense slightly as if he was making a wish. 

Jamie turned his head to kiss her forehead before his hand moved to her bump. “This Sassenach, us, the wee bairn... all of it,” He said so passionately. His world has been torn upside down so many times they’d lost track of what part he was currently riding on the rollercoaster of life. Though one thing had remained consistent; his Sassenach. She had been his greatest discovery, his soul mate and companion all rolled into one. This journey had been hard, but not lonely because he knew she’d always be a step behind if not beside him. This baby was their second chance, as was their arrival to this time. He had to believe it was a gift from a higher power, for keeping his faith and believing even when his path was distorted and cruel. 

Claire would blame the hormones for her tears if Jamie questioned why her cheeks were damp, but the truth was she too had never been happier than she was now. Her whole life she’d been on the outside looking in, she had liked her own company, she’d lived a new nomadic lifestyle similar to her uncles, she’d learnt to live alone, to be independent, resilient, but since starting her life with Jamie those roles had been reversed. She would never be alone again. She had wanted to settle, to make a home and never leave it. 

“I would like to kiss ye now?” Jamie asked, his face only inches away, he could feel her breathing against his chin, the hot air like a fan being blown against his stubbly beard. 

“You may, Solider” she winked, grinning like a teenager. His lips crashed against her mouth, wanting more with every groan that she hummed out. 

That night had been magical, finding and exploring each other’s bodies as if it was the first time again. Their rhythm was constantly changing to fit the mood, rough and hard at times when she begged him but slow and tenderly when she cried out and he wanted to show her extra attention ensuring she wanted more and lasted longer. Having the small bump between them had only increased the pleasure they felt, the true representation of what their love had created only months before. Whenever they were lost this was their way back to each other, through lip biting bruises all up and down Jamie’s chest and marks around Claire’s neck. 

“Does it feel different, Sassenach?” Jamie asked as they were lying down inside the tent, still naked but Claire draped across chest. 

Claire knew what he was referring too; he’d asked this before when they were pregnant with Faith. “I guess so” she replied honestly. “Though the rock hard floor isn’t agreeing too much to my back…” she sighed. 

“Oh Sassenach I’m sorry, I ken I should have waited til we got back to the cottage but I’ve been wanting ye all day...” Jamie confessed. The wanting her never stopped. 

“Don’t apologise Jamie... I wanted you too” Claire eased his fears, she’d been uncomfortable far beyond tonight and if anything it had made her forget the sickness she felt constantly and the feeling of her body stretching trying to make room for a small human. 

“Do you think you can go again Mr. Fraser?” Claire teased, flashing her eyelashes innocently, her fingers already stroking up and down his fine chest, causing the hairs to stand on their ends. This woman would be the end to him. Taking her in his arms they went, again and again, fighting each other for dominance. 

As Jamie hovered over her, his mouth firming sucking down on the flesh on her neck. Claire sat up like a bolt, her eyes searching around in front of her. 

“Jamie, what was that?” Claire paused, her body still connected to his. She looked up at the door where it remained open. She’d heard a noise like a twig was being stood on, the defined sound she’d learnt from her time with Murtagh when they were searching for Jamie. 

“I didn’t hear anything Sassenach” Jamie carried on kissing the tender spot on her neck, unaware of what danger might’ve lurking. 

Claire didn’t look at Jamie once, her eyes focused upon the high grass and corner where the broken wall was lower than the rest. Her heart was racing and Jamie couldn’t help but sense the fear in his wife. 

“I’ll go look Sassenach” Jamie moved off her, kissing her cheek as he left. He grabbed his trousers, quickly putting them on before investigating to ease her mind. 

He looked around, near the house, even going to where the brick wall showed the perimeter of the land. “There’s nothing here,” He shouted back confidently. Making his way back to Claire to see was slightly less hesitant now. 

“It must have been a deer,” Jamie wisely added. The countryside was full of them, they were now closing in on built-up areas due to most of the highlands now being built on, this part was the only woodland area that remained, bringing all walks of wildlife towards their home. 

“Yes,” Claire decided “yes, you’re right” she settled back down onto the makeshift bed, her body turned to face the outside, Jamie quickly settled down beside her, his arm protectively wrapped around her and pulling her closer into his chest. She felt safe again. Though she knew she had heard something, it might have been a deer or even a smaller animal. 

What they had realised though as they slept peacefully under the stars was the shadow of a tall man reappearing over the wall, his presence remaining undetected as he continued to watch the couple in front of him. 

“I’ve found you Claire!” he whispered beneath his breath before tiptoeing off back in the direction of his car.


	14. Predator and Prey

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always thank you SO much for your lovely comments. I think you have all guessed correctly who the stranger was.
> 
> I've come at this chapter slightly different basing it on a Frank POV, just as I feel this isn't something really covered in the book/on the show very much and think it's quite vital into understanding what Frank's been up too and how he took Claire back so willingly! 
> 
> Again, thank you and hope you enjoy this!

London, 1938

It had been 8 months of searching; getting his hopes up after following dead ends and loose leads. He’d terrorized the police and local authority daily asking them for their assistance and of any news he hadn’t found out himself. He still remembered the rather honest conversation he had with the manager on duty with the Inverness police department as the sergeant spoke of the harsh reality of Claire’s disappearance, telling him she left with another man. Frank didn’t listen though, with no evidence to back up or support these claims it was only this man’s gut instinct as his witness. Frank returned to London shortly after, his job had been a welcome distraction and minimizing the daily thoughts in his head until he was alone in the evenings. He had learnt how to drink away his feelings, a glass of scotch normally did it, sometimes a second was needed on those extra loud nights when it felt like he could hear her calling out his name asking him to find her and bring her home. The anniversaries were the worst of them all, those days he took off from work and demolished a whole bottle of scotch hoping to sleep his way through the day and wake up to another without having to experience the hurt of spending them alone.

Though he hadn’t given up looking for his wife he knew he needed to repair what she’d broke by leaving, whether by choice or not. He had his career to focus on and a rather large group of woman who admired him and offered to take the lonely spot left in his heart. With every one night stand he felt more incomplete, a constant reminder they weren’t Claire, they’d never be his wife whom he loved so dearly. The only woman who explored him so freely and so playfully yet still remaining firm and letting him take the lead.

Their marriage hadn’t gone the way he hoped, the way his parents had, the war had caused a great deal of separation and his stupidity and lack of communication on his part only aided that distance between them. They’d been miles apart in distance but also in love. Their second honeymoon had been one to rediscover each other, ignite that passion they once had to try to find it again. Claire had denied having lovers and even though he tested her he saw no reason not to believe her, one thing he knew he could always count on was her honesty, sometimes too honest but she would have admitted it for sure. Whereas frank couldn’t he’d had lovers throughout the war years, they’d practically been given to him with a bow on and he had urges every time he couldn’t get home to visit Claire they’d magically turn up at his quarters ready and waiting.

Occasionally he found himself searching the Inverness newspapers, he still kept in contact with Reverend Wakefield, a monthly letter was the now the unspoken ritual between them. Every month he’d include one sentence at the bottom of the page telling him of no recent news or updates on Claire. He hadn’t even asked this last time he just knew it would be the next question the desperate husband would ask. It was, however, the latest newspaper he’d received in the post, he’d flick through it every Sunday morning as the bundle arrived weekly, his breakfast in front of him as he turned the pages abruptly over almost ripping the tender sheets in half, as he got to the back pages he noticed a property had been brought in the middle of nowhere, it’s rarity enough to capture the eyes of a young journalist, though like every other property acquired and for sale Frank couldn’t help but read over the name of the man who purchased it, “James Fraser” for some reason he recognised that name, maybe someone he met once? He wasn’t sure, but he knew from his research that Fraser was a clan surname so definitely showed his Scottish origins. It couldn’t be he mumbled to himself, dismissing the idea completely. However, the idea wouldn’t go away, so he mentioned the name in his next letter to the reverend, enquiring if he knew who he was and if he could respond back sooner for this one occasion. Almost on queue, his phone rang several days later, a strangers voice appearing on the other end with a gleeful tone. “Frank, it’s been a long time” The Reverend spoke on the phone. His voice was full of warmth and comfort for Frank.

“It has indeed Reverend”

“What is this about a James Fraser I can help you with? Is this someone else in your family history?” He asked, intrigued.

“Not quite, I’m not entirely sure you see” “I do see” the Reverend agreed, taking a large gulp of air before continuing. “When you said his name, I remembered reading about it recently actually, the list of names of those who perished at Culloden Moor…fighting against the British” Frank remained silent as he listened to every word, he too then realised where he’d heard the name, or seen it on the pages of the documents he’d scanned through that only seemed like months ago but in fact had been years. He couldn’t quite explain why the name stood out to him at the time, but it did.

“Was a body ever found?”

“I don’t believe so… but you know as well as I do Frank the British refused to let the loved ones collect the bodies to be buried…” He reminded him. “There’s no way to tell”

“Yes, I do remember reading that actually” Frank replied, almost too quickly.

“This obviously isn’t the same James Fraser, Frank” the Reverend clarified ending those thoughts inside his head before he even debated it. A light chuckle at the end to even signify the silliness in his thoughts. Whether he believed him or not he knew Claire wouldn’t just leave, and despite disregarding Mrs. Graham suggestion of the magical stones he couldn’t help but now wonder if there had been true to her claims? Frank couldn’t deny the feeling, the overwhelming connecting to Claire when he went up there himself to check it out, it was the first time he’d heard her shout his name since she disappeared, like a sign.

“No, I don’t suppose it is…” Frank replied trying to convince not only the Reverend but himself as well. The pen in his hand rotating a large circle around the property notice in the paper and then underlining the address several times.

“Frank, may I speak honestly here?”

“Of course, Reverend”

“You’re chasing a ghost, for whatever reason Claire left she isn’t coming back and it pains me to see you chasing... well nothing. You need to move on” his wise words would have normally worked had it not been for the biggest clue since her disappearance to be in bold lettering in front of him. He knew he was speaking the truth, he was quite literally going to travel hours to chase a “ghost” but for some reason, he believed that ghost would lead him to Claire one way or another. He’d seen a ghost already once watching his wife.

Frank had hurriedly thrown some clothes into a suitcase, loading his car full of things he may need for the trip, including a few pillows and blankets. Chances are he wouldn’t be checking into a hotel, he intended to find out if she was there and if so bring her back, there would be no ifs or buts, just plainly that. He rang his colleague and boss to confirm he’d be using up his research days from tomorrow and left. Seeing the sign for Inverness he breathed a sigh of relief.

Pulling out the map, he laid it across the passenger seat and drew finely on the roads that would inevitably end up at the address entitled ‘Lallybroch’. He hadn’t quite thought about what he would do once he arrived, where he’d hide or not hide. And most importantly what he’d do if he actually found her, ensuring his thoughts remained hopefully but realistic at the same time.

Arriving shortly before nightfall, he pulled the stopped car to a stop a good few miles away from the where the house was on the map, he needed to be undetected and the best way to do that was on foot. He approached the gravel road that he followed like a stream to an open lake, seeing the remains of definitely a house from several hundred years ago in place. He couldn’t quite see the appeal of why anyone would want to buy this land. He walked around for a short while, scouting out his surroundings and finding a safe hiding place if his school scout sessions had taught him anything it was to have a plan and a back up if needed. He couldn’t help but hear voices, the closer he got the louder they were. A masculine voice, boomed, a Scottish twang evident in his dialect. But it was the feminine voice that struck him. It was British, sweet and light. the tones of an angel, it sounded just like Claire, the same voice he heard every night before he went to sleep.

With the dark skies approaching quickly from the west and reigning down he knew he’d be able to sneak further and closer without being seen, he had to see for his own eyes it was her, this wouldn’t be the first time his own mind had betrayed him. He peeped over the wall, stretching onto the balls of his feet to see over the broken brick, in the middle of the courtyard was a made-up tent, with two bodies inside, the flap open to the night air so that Frank could see everything. Their bodies were moving in a steady beat with frequent high pitch whimpers as she begged him to take her again and again. Standing on the log next to him to get a better view, he felt it crunch beneath his foot, snapping into two pieces. He winced, and ducked down so quickly he felt the blood rush to his head.

Seconds later he saw them come out, looking around to see what the noise was… it was a red-haired Scot and _his_ wife… She looked the exact same as when she left though her hair had grown slightly longer and her curls seemed tamer than before. But what he couldn’t help but notice was the growing bump that stuck out, her hand protectively sheltering it against the noises he made. She’d betrayed him in more ways than one. She’d left him and did the one thing he never received from her that he wanted almost as badly as he needed her, a child. She had spent the best part of the last few years by the side of someone else, a Scot no less. The universe had played such a cruel trick on him.

Frank watched as they settled down again in the tent, this time at a different angle from behind another section of the wall, he could see the way they lay side by side, the man’s hands all over his wife’s, the light kisses he applied to her mouth whilst his hand rubbed gently on her belly, making her giggle insatiably. His thoughts were irrational, his body experiencing the trauma once again and only wanting a stiff drink to ease the ache it was causing all over. He could charge in there right now and take her back, he was still her husband and that claim was highly thought of, or he could wait and speak to her alone. He had noticed the fighting spirit inside the scot, his piercing eyes and his quick left hand that went immediately for the knife in his lower pocket when he heard the noise earlier.

Frank stayed well back, like a predator stalking it’s a prey, he’d waited this long to find her and a few more hours, maybe days was nothing. He watched as Mrs. Graham picked them up the following morning, they bundling into her car as they drove away. Frank followed closely behind, keeping a mile distance at all times, he looked on the map at the terrain ahead to make sure he wouldn’t be seen. The war had taught him many things, but one was to be undetected.

After several hours of following a small road, that was more like a dirt track they approached a small cottage, he watched as they walked inside, the man holding his wife, kissing her cheek just the way he used too. He grabbed her waist and lifted her gently into the home. Another day had passed and his car had become his closest ally, protecting him from the elements of the highland winters. Thankful he had filled the back of the car with blankets as he had used almost everyone to keep him warm.

The next day though had brought promise, a new hope. He watched the Scotsman leave, kissing Claire a little too long for his liking, lingering on the moment that made his stomach squeeze. He saw his opportunity to go see her now. He waited for over an hour to check no one else turned up at the cottage, in the past twenty-four hours several others had turned up, Claire had settled into her new life, happily, they chanted and laughed, the fire roaring from the chimney as they talked for hours. She had completely forgotten about the vows she had made him, the ones she’d promised so lovingly.

Running down the grass verge, he stopped just outside the cottage, taking a closer inspection of the home where she’d been hiding for god knows how long. It was small, ordinary, nothing special or particularly beautiful. If anything it looked run down and ruined, just like the other home they had purchased. Nothing suitable for a baby he thought.

Frank knocked loudly on the door twice, almost falling as the anticipation grew too much. Three years he’d waited. He would finally get some answers.

“Hold on Faith… I’m just coming” Claire shouted from inside, she seemed in a different room as she raised her voice to be heard. Frank winced instantly at the realisation it was her, she was actually here. In a matter of seconds, he would come face to face with his wife, the woman whom he’d been searching for years. As Claire opened the door the smile on her face dropped as she was confronted with a ghost from her past.

“Hello, Claire” He said.


	15. Unwelcome Visitors

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Loved reading all of your latest comments and thank you so much for supporting my idea of showing Frank's POV in more detail!
> 
> Here's the very much awaited chapter...
> 
> I've rewritten this SO many times trying to make it as perfect as it could be...I hope it doesn't disappoint!

Claire stood motionless and still, frightened to move. Her body was completely seized up, frozen like a statue with the only movement happening inside her stomach, as her unborn baby was blissfully unaware of who was on the outside. 

She looked up at the ghost from her past, capturing his features she had once adored, imprinted in her mind forever. For now, though, all she could see was his ancestor, never quite realising the extent of how alike they were. The same scar, near his chin that fitted perfectly where his dimples would have been, his thin eyebrows that curved just enough to create a natural shape around his eyes. And then there were those eyes, piercing and sharply staring back at hers, his pupils dilated and focused on only one thing, like before… Those eyes had been the reason for her lack of peaceful sleep for the first few months of her arrival, she had regular nightmares of being captured, tortured but what made it worse was the transition between the Frank she knew who was so caring and loving and his ancestor who began to fade and taint her memories of him. 

“Are you going to invite me inside or are we just going to stand here?” Frank asked, his authority still reigning over her as if a day hadn’t passed since she left. 

Claire nodded, looking around outside to see if anyone else was lurking or arriving just in time to save her. She had hoped Faith would of turned up early for her check-up but that seemed almost too good to be true and she knew the chances of Jamie coming back soon was unlikely. He was helping Paul with one his furthest away fields and he’d already told her he wouldn’t be back til when she was in bed. 

Sighing loudly accepting her fate she moved over to allow him inside the safety of her home. She watched him walk slowly into the heart of the cottage, his heavy feet shuffling against the wooden flooring, with every tap her heart beat a little faster. She observed as he took in his surroundings, looking around at every area of the room he could see, staring out of the window that looks up to the fields in the direction Jamie had left. He had been waiting and watching she knew it. 

“How did you find me?” Claire asked as whilst Frank made himself at home, pulling out one of the wooden chairs and leaning back whilst positioning his feet on the chair opposite. His car hadn’t been the most comfortable place to sleep inside or rest the last two nights but this chair would definitely do for now.

Frank tapped the table in a steady rhythm, looking up at his estranged wife chuckling lightly. “That’s your first question Claire?” he scoffed. “Your first question is to ask how your husband found you…”

“I….” 

“You know…I’m rather thirsty” 

“Oh for fuck sake Frank just ask for a drink” Claire winced instantly regretting the change and tone in her voice.

Frank’s reaction didn’t go unnoticed either. Seeming shocked by her outburst, the defiance she had shown and most importantly the newfound courage and fight she had. Before she had always stood up for herself, she was never the wife who would just sit there and do what she was told, but she would have never dared speak to him like that. As Frank looked around he couldn’t help but notice how immaculate the home in the middle of nowhere looked, she’d clearly been cleaning it and taking pride in the small dwelling. With the places they’d lived before the war, Claire had never acted that way to any of them, or the one after the war either. She never had a desire to be the housewife he wished her to be but seeing how settled she was now, it appeared it was with him who she didn’t want to do that with…

“I’m sorry…” Claire apologised, quickly walking over to the sink area, taking one of the cups out of the cupboard just above her head. 

“Do you have something stronger?” Frank interrupted. 

Claire nodded, swapping the worn mug for glass and walked over to the cupboard near the large window in the kitchen, popping the lid off the bottle of liquor and pouring it into the glass. She took it back over to the table, shoving it roughly near him. 

“Are you going to have one too?” 

Claire rolled her eyes, clearly knowing what his next question would be about. She shook her head, grabbing her own cup of water from before and sat down opposite him. “I’ll just stick to my water, thank you” She had tried to stand as long as she could, but with the growing bump and how quickly she’d noticed it beginning to drop so had her backaches and the pain in her hips. 

“Cheers,” Frank said cheerfully, raising his glass in the air before swiftly downing the liquid. He grimaced as the strong whiskey went down his throat, burning at the soft tissue inside. 

The silence had begun to overtake. Neither wanted to start the conversation, wanting to hear the dreaded answers to their questions. The truth and reality of what was being presented to them both. They both had secrets they wanted to keep, a life they’d lived without the other. 

“You never did answer my question Frank” 

Frank laughed, shuffling himself on the chair. “I never answered your question? oh wow, Claire” He pushed his glass across the table hinting for a top-up which Claire understood and grabbed the bottle of whiskey filling it up again. “How about I’ll answer your question once you answer one of mine?” 

“Fine” Claire leaned back, ready for the attack of questions that would be coming her way. Frank had always been a gambler, making deals his whole life. 

“So let's start with where you’ve been?”

This time it was Claire’s turn to laugh as she continued to look out of the window. “You won’t believe me if I tell you…” 

“Try me”

“Fine…” Claire took a sip of water before continuing on with the story she had almost gotten used to telling. She told him everything. How she’d gone up to the stones to look at the flower again, wanting to find out if it was what she thought it was and to possibly take one away with her. How she fell through a time-travelling stone and ended up 200 years in the past, how his ancestor had tried to attack her and how some Scottish highlanders had saved her life. And then regrettably to Frank she disclosed how she met Jamie and how he took care of her, how she had to marry him and the rest had been history, literally. Frank had listened with attention, hanging on every word she said, not once interrupting as she gained her flow and continued to spill what would sound like a fairytale to anyone else. He watched her eyes full of fear every time she mentioned his ancestor and the cruel acts he’d committed. 

“That’s quite a story Claire” Frank stood up, now pacing frantically around the kitchen. His feet couldn’t stay still even if he tried. 

“I told you that you wouldn’t believe me…” She breathed deeply, throwing some of the loose curls from her face and tucking them behind her ears. “Hell Frank sometimes I don’t believe it happened” 

Several minutes later Frank sat down again, opposite Claire, taking her hands from her lap and holding them in his. “I believe you” Frank replied, no explanation on his face for her to help understand his reaction whether it was good or bad. Had he listened to the part where she explicated said she hadn’t wanted to come back? That she met and fell in love with another man? Another man who promised her world and had given her everything she desired? 

“Wait… what?” 

“I believe you, Claire…” He said again, repeating himself. “I believe you did what you had to do to survive”

“Frank….”

“We’ll talk more about it later Claire… on to other matters…” He suggested, his eyes diverting to reason she couldn’t pull her chair in closer to the table. “It’s his right?”

Claire nodded. “Yes,” No words could describe the hurt look in response to her one-worded answer on his face. The guilt, hatred, anger, but most of the pain. the pain wasn’t his and would never be. 

Frank could smell the Scotsman; the whole cottage was a shrine to his existence. A plague that had been contained and used as a weapon for unwelcome visitors. Every area of this room had his belongings inside, his shoes by the front door covered in dried speckles of mud, his alcohol that he was drinking… A coat draped over the sofa and left in a hurry…there wasn’t any room for him in this cottage. He was struggling to breathe and panicking internally. He had seen how happy Claire was with this man, but he had expected her to return willingly and easy with him once he turned up again, like before. She had always picked him, choose him… but now it didn’t seem like he would be having her return with him.

“Breathe Frank” Claire stood up. She’d watched the onset of his panic attacks and stood behind him rubbing her hand in soft circles against his back helping to ease his breathing “In and out Frank…” she reminded him. She knew his attacks had been a result of the war; though he never talked about his experiences she knew he hadn’t had the cosiest situation either. He’d seen things that would scar anyone especially someone as emotional as her Frank. Even though he’d never been sent to spy on suspected Germans he knew that many of his friends had and died in cruel, barbaric ways when they’d been found out. Any death is hard to deal with yet alone knowing it was because you didn’t intervene and remove that subject in time. He had suffered the guilt of knowing he couldn’t help. 

Frank steadied his breathing, allowing his chest to open up wider to accommodate. “You still care for me then…” Frank proposed as a question rather than a fact. A few years ago he wouldn’t have even questioned it. She’d been there continuously without fail. Now it felt like they were two strangers who had a past and were meeting again for the first time in a new life.

“I’ll always care about you, Frank…”

“Then let’s go back to Oxford” Frank begged.

Claire couldn’t think straight. At no point had she wanted to give Frank the hope she wished to return to her old life? She barely recognised it. She was finally happy, content with the life her and Jamie had built and were still building. In this world, though she was legally and technically still Frank’s and that pained her more than any of it. 

“I can’t Frank...” She paused, unaware of how to convey how much she didn’t want to go, without completely destroying his feelings and any mutual trust between them. 

Just as she went to explain and hopefully help him understand her choices a loud knock on the door was heard. Both adults froze as they debated what to do.

“Who’s that?” Frank asked, suddenly his calm, caring features changed into anger and terrifying expressions that instantly gave her chills. 

“It’s probably Faith” Claire explained, looking up at the clock. “She was supposed to coming around at eleven for an appointment…” 

“I see…” Frank replied. “I will be back tomorrow then…do not tell anyone about my appearance okay dear?” He cupped her chin with his hand, allowing his fingers to stroke her cheek; he caught her wincing at his touch. 

A louder knock sounded again. “Claire?” 

“How can I get out?” Frank asked, wanting not to be found knowing it would ruin all his plans.

“Back door in the other room…” Claire explained pointing to the door that could be seen just about from inside the kitchen. He nodded, pressing his lip to her forehead before departing as quickly as he arrived. 

Claire breathed out heavily; trying to hold back the tears, as she knew she would be found out the second Faith saw her. 

Putting her hand on her stomach, she rubbed gently. “We can do this” she whispered to her baby before walking through to the open the front door.


	16. Howling Winds and Brooms

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you again for all of your lovely comments (It makes me smile so much!)
> 
> I loved seeing all of your responses to Frank's return!

“Claire, are you alright?” Faith fussed as she walked closer to inspect Claire, she wasn't even inside the cottage before the palm of her hand was against Claire's forehead to check she wasn't feverish. “It’s not the baby is it?” Claire couldn't even respond before Faith had moved her fingers to her wrist, pressing firmly down to count her pulse. 

Claire shook her head slowly, if she did it any faster she’d for sure pass out. She felt incredibly warm, flustered and uncomfortable. She’d practically ran to open the door before Faith got suspicious and walked around the back where she would have met Frank and that was the last thing Claire wanted or needed right now. The elephant in the room had now thankfully left, and she knew he'd be back soon, he confirmed that as much, but she needed to deal with this on her terms and involving no one else apart from herself. Involving more people would only cause matters to magnify and she was scared of what that would mean for her newfound friends and family. Faith has become a part of their group, often joining them on her days off from the hospital and including regular check-ups as excuses to visit more often. Claire didn't know why their connection was so strong but she couldn't deny she felt like the child she lost, this how she imagined she would have grown-up, the type of girl she would have become. 

“The baby is fine... I just stood up too quickly,” Claire thought quickly, it wasn’t a lie as such, but definitely not the truth to explain her flustered look and ghostly appearance. 

Faith didn’t seem to buy it but didn’t push the matter further. She carried on with her usual check-up, first feeling Claire’s stomach and pushing around to feel where the baby was, happy to see and feel the baby kicked back with every touch. “Everything seems fine...” Faith added happy with what she’d seen, the baby seemed to be developing appropriately due to the time scale and Claire seemed in herself fit and well. She’d keep up with the vitamins and was eating the right amount of choices they’d recommended. She knew Jamie wouldn't let her overdo it so that didn't worry her as it did with some of other expecting mothers she'd recently met. 

“You hesitated?” Claire noticed. 

Faith sat down next to Claire, scooping up one of her hands and comforting her quickly. “Oh dear, I’m sorry. Not about the baby. Your baby feels perfectly healthy... it’s you I’m worried about” she admitted out loud. This whole visit Claire had been different, distracted... looking at the back door almost every minute and looking relieved when she looked away, then again the anxious look would build up as she took the courage to turn again. Her skin was paler than usual, and a slight layer of sweat kept building upon her forehead but it wasn't an early sign of a sickness beginning. She seemed scared in her own home and most importantly the shell of the Claire she had gotten to know these months. 

“I’m fine...” Claire chuckled trying to convince herself too. 

“Claire if I may speak frankly?” 

Claire nodded though she feared what she might hear. 

“You’re not yourself... and if something is bothering you or scaring you I may be able to help..."

"It's nothing..." Claire denied her claims, though she knew the truth to them was outweighing her. 

"Claire, if you don't feel comfortable talking to me, maybe we could talk to Jamie or Mrs. Graham?" 

“I don’t think we need to talk to anyone else about anything... please don’t be worrying them I told you I’m fine,” Claire said back defensively. The worst scenario would be that everyone was checking up on her, how would she be able to deal with Frank if she was constantly being checked upon, and more so what would happen to those who didn't leave her side. Frank would have to get imaginative in how to remove them. 

“But Claire...”

“But nothing. I told you I’m fine” Claire spoke back, regretting the harsh tone of her of voice almost immediately. She hadn’t wanted to upset Faith, but she needed her to not say a word to anyone. The fewer people who knew about Frank the better. 

“I get you won’t tell me... but listen to me when I say the whole time I’ve been here your heart rate has been rapidly increasing, your baby is moving more because it’s reacting to the stress you’re putting on your body. In a few months times, your body may not be able to deal with both Claire” 

Claire felt officially warned and frightened. She knew what stress could do yet she’d even noticed herself panicking more and more as the minutes ticked by on the clock in the lounge. She’d let him get inside her head and consume it with his threats and prior fears of what he may do the people she loved and treasured. And most importantly what of this baby? He’d been desperate for his own child their whole marriage but this baby wasn’t his if anything happened there’s no guarantee this baby would be part of the deal. 

Faith stayed at the Fraser cottage for a little while, consuming several cups of tea and doing her best to keep Claire distracted from whatever was eating away at her. “Oh, dear is that the time I best be going,” She said rushing to collect up her things, she happened to look at the clock on the fireplace and couldn’t believe she’d been here all late morning and it was now nearing dinner time. She had a habit of talking for hours, something she seemed to have learnt from Mrs. Graham.

“Did you want to stay for dinner?” Claire offered, she didn’t want to be alone right now, especially knowing Jamie wouldn’t be home shortly as he normally would be. 

Faith looked at the door and then back at Claire. She couldn’t’ help but sense the fear in her voice as she asked her yet she had other tasks that needed to be completed today as it was her only day off for a while. “I’m sorry Claire I really must be going…. did you want me to tell Mrs. Graham to pop over though?” 

“No… it’s okay Jamie will be home soon” She lied, grinding her teeth together hoping her face wasn’t as obvious as it had been earlier. 

Claire walked Faith to the door, giving her a slight squeeze before waving goodbye as she drove off. She took one last long look around outside before slamming the door shut, and locking it. She went to the backdoor to double-check it was locked and curled up grateful on the sofa in their living area. 

As it grew darker outside and still no sign of Jamie, Claire's uneasy feeling continued. Every noise outside now frightened her. The comforting sounds of the outdoors she had loved she now feared. The wind howled as it entrapped around the cottage, the trees bending their branches to tap against the windows simultaneously. 

It was a loud rattle at the front door that caught her ears the most, as she approached she saw what appeared to be a shadow on the outside, their beastly hands attacking the handle as they tried to untwist and turn it the right direction to seek warmth inside the four walls. Grabbing a broom from the kitchen, Claire crouched as far down as she could from behind the door ready to attack whoever was coming from the outside. Her heart was beating out of her chest as she waited for the door to fly open, the winds would encourage this tonight. 

As the door finally opened, Claire lifted the broom into the air, forgetting to breathe as her hands gripped tighter onto the broom ready to bring it down with whatever force she still had left. 

“Sassenach” the familiar man’s voice called, cradling her instantly in his arms careful not to crush her too much but ensuring she felt safe and secure. He’d never seen Claire this fearful before. As soon as his arms went around her she dropped the broom instantly onto the floor. 

“I’m so sorry Jamie... I...” Claire tried but her words failed her, instead, she found herself curling her head up into the crook of her husband’s neck as she calmed herself down. 

It felt like only seconds had passed but it had been almost half an hour by the time Jamie picked up Claire’s body, keeping her still as close as he could to his chest and carried her to their bedroom. Laying her down on the bed, he took his shoes and coat off and laid beside her, pulling her into his chest once again. 

“Claire I’ve never seen you so scared...” he said with honesty, it scared him more than whatever may have been lurking whether that be in spirit or in person. 

“I’m sorry Jamie... I don’t know what came over me” Claire replied back, this time lifting her head for the first time since he returned home. “I suppose you’ll be wanting some supper. I saved you some?” 

Jamie shook his head, grabbing her hand and stopping her from moving away, he knew she was trying to avoid his questions though they would have been deserved especially by the state he found her in. “It can wait a minute Sassenach”. 

"I see," Claire said, sitting herself up against the back of the bed, Jamie copying her, his hand remaining entwined with hers. 

"Aye will not force ye to talk about whatever got you so scared Claire, but I ask that ye think about if you can talk about it at some point" Jamie offered, in his sweet, charming way. 

Claire nodded, wiping away a stray tear. It was in this moment she knew she made the right choice all those years ago, picking him, loving him. He was the one for her. The one who understood her the most. He hadn't forced her to speak when she couldn't, he hadn't pushed her when she wasn't ready. He'd been a steady force for her to use and find comfort from. "How about we get you something to eat now?" Claire asked, hearing her husband's tummy rumble lightly. 

Jamie smiled and nodded. His stomach had done the talking for him. 

Walking to the kitchen still, hand-in-hand they only separated for Claire to get his dinner out of the oven where she'd left it to keep it warm for him. They sat in silence at the table, Claire sipping on a mug of water whilst Jamie demolished the plate without care or caution. 

"I was thinking of asking Paul if I could have the day off tomorrow..." Jamie said, chewing another mouthful of food. 

Claire titled her head to the side. "What for?"

"To stay with you Sassenach. You seemed so scared earlier, it scared me, to be honest with ye" Jamie admitted honestly, wanting to bring it up before but not being able too.

"Oh no, you can't do that, don't you have to go help out one of the other farmers tomorrow?" Claire reminded him, remembering the men's schedule better than they did. 

Jamie shook his head, suddenly remembering his plans. He couldn't let Paul down, especially tomorrow. "I could ask Mrs. Graham to come over?"

"That won't be necessary, I have plans tomorrow anyway," Claire thought quickly. 

"Who with?"

"Faith," Claire thought and said before changing her mind. "Faith couldn't come today, she had an emergency at the hospital so she's rescheduled for tomorrow" 

"Well I can't say I'm not glad because I am that ye won't be alone tomorrow," Jamie said. "At least that's settled" 

"It sure is..." Claire said guilty, she'd never lied to Jamie before, but if it meant keeping him safe then she'd do whatever she had to protect him.


	17. The Hills That Hide

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you once again for all of your comments. I did experience my first set of negative comments and even though I like constructive criticism I don't feel these comments were particularly constructive but hurtful instead. That being said I'm going to keep writing, and most importantly I'm going to carry on writing Claire how I like (I've written Claire exactly how I feel she would react in this situation, bearing in mind it's not canon to the show. She would do ANYTHING to protect Jamie and her unborn child, by trying to reason with Frank is her putting them first. She is independent and does things without always consulting Jamie and I feel again that's what I've portrayed) 
> 
> So, this is a massive thank you to all of my regular readers who leave the most amazing feedback and comments and to the new readers to say thank you and I'm eternally grateful, and thank you for making this writing experience so fulfilling and exciting each chapter! :)

The next morning had come around all too quickly for Claire. She’d barely slept the night before, tossing and turning, her eyes focused only on the door to their bedroom. Though she knew Frank would never come back when he knew Jamie was home she still couldn’t switch her mind off long enough to sleep for more than twenty minutes at a time. No amount of coffee was going to hide her exhaustion or remove the bags under her eyes and just to add to the mix of sleep deprivation their unborn baby had chosen this morning to be its most active yet, a constant foot hitting into her bladder. 

She got up and dressed and prepared some breakfast for Jamie as she always did. Normally she’d wait till much later but after waking up for the fifth time that morning she agreed enough was enough and got on with the chores of the day. She found peace in rushing around the cottage, avoiding the bedroom as not to wake Jamie up, but rather enjoyed her mind being busy and not allowing it much time to process and think about what the last few days had brought her. 

“You’re up early this morning Sassenach?” Jamie said walking into the kitchen towards her and planting a kiss on her forehead. “This looks lovely, what’s the occasion?” He asked, there was an array of choices on the table, almost too much for just him to eat even if he was feeling particular peckish this morning. 

“You told me the other day that Paul was dropping by before he takes you out on that job at the Boyle's farm?” Claire reminded her husband, swatting the top of his head playfully. She knew he’d forget. 

Jamie felt his cheeks turn a shade of red as he had indeed forgotten that minor but rather major plan of his day. “I’m sure he’ll enjoy it but I’m definitely getting in first.. to check it tastes good” Jamie suggested, his hand making its way to the freshly toasted bread in the middle but only to be met with Claire’s hand pushing his away. 

“I don’t think so mister” she gave him one of her signature Claire glares that he knew not to test and kept his hand away from the fresh set. “But...” Jamie looked up hopeful at his wife. “You may have this whilst were waiting” Claire winked, handing him a piece of bread she’d saved him on a separate plate on the side. 

As Jamie tucked into the toast a knock at the door caught Claire’s ear. Walking over she looked first before opening it, praying it was Paul and no one else. As she pulled it to she was relieved to see the older man smiling back at her. She shuffled to the side and allowed him in, taking a check of the outskirts of her home before shutting the door firmly, ensuring the lock was bolted. 

“Paul, come sit” Jamie offered, standing up to greet his boss but mostly now his closest friend in this land. 

“Thank you” he smiled, taking the seat opposite to Jamie “oh wow claire this looks delicious!” 

“Thank you, Paul, just a quick selection I put together” 

“When you couldn’t sleep last night Sassenach?” Claire looked up like she’d been caught out, Jamie still scoffing his face with the breakfast selection. Claire wanted to lean across and wipe the stray drip of butter on his chin but it's almost as he realised and did it himself. 

“It must be that baby kicking inside you keeping you awake huh lass?” Paul quickly added, Claire could only nod afraid anything else she may add would contribute to her string of lies that seemed to be growing by the second. She’d built her marriage on love and honesty yet now she found even herself doubting those vows, she hadn’t been honest with Jamie and knew that by tonight she’d have to talk to him. The guilt was destroying her, glancing at him from across the table, wishing he knew the truth and the sacrifices she'd make for him. Their love was eternal and everlasting, this would only strengthen it. 

After clearing away the table without any wastage and Paul insisting on helping Claire put away the cutlery and plates, not wanting her to stretch too much in her condition, they both got ready to leave. “I’ll meet you in the car,” Paul told Jamie, making his leave to let the couple say goodbye. Though it was only for the day they always had the most heartfelt goodbyes. 

Jamie held Claire in his arms, his hand brushing against her cheek in a slow, repetitive action. “Sure ye gonna be okay today?” He asked again. 

Claire nodded, bringing her lips to his, pushing harder than she had done in a long time. “Yep, Faith should be here in the next hour or so....” she added, wanting to convince him if only for the day then she could tell him everything. 

Jamie nodded, although something inside him told him to stay he nodded and left. He’d ask her tonight if anything else was going on but for now, he needed to trust his wife, after all, she’d never given him a reason to worry before. 

///

Driving towards the farm where they’d be working today, Paul took a detour. “Hope you don’t Jamie but I need to grab something from Mrs. Graham’s?” Paul explained. 

“No trouble at all” He replied back, he knew the farm they were going to was on the opposite side of the highlands to the town so going into town wouldn’t make much of a difference to their journey if anything it may break it up a little bit. And he needed the break in-between after all his sickness still wasn’t the best but he’d learned to keep the window down and to breathe deeply. Mrs. Graham had given him a lifetimes supply of mints and told him to suck on them the whole time, and it seemed to ease his queasiness.

“Ahh, Paul” Mrs. Graham cheered, engulfing her friend into a warm embrace. “And you brought Jamie” she hugged him. 

As they spoke outside the home, Paul and Jamie had been lifting some of the tools they were borrowing from Mrs. Graham's front garden into the back of the truck when a closed front door got their attention. They looked up, noticing Faith then coming out of her home. Paul cheerfully waved and she waved back before joining the small group. 

“What we got planned today then?” Faith asked though she had a feeling with the tools being transported.

“We’re just heading to Boyles farm to help him out with his latest project and needed to borrow a few bits from Mrs. Graham” Paul explained.

“What could you possibly be borrowing from Mrs. Graham that you don’t already own?” Faith chuckled, watching the older man jump into the back of the car and pull out one of the rakes. 

“You wouldn’t believe me if I told that mine broke only yesterday” Paul muttered, he didn’t believe it too. The one time he needed it and used it and of course, it snapped in the middle and Mrs. Graham was the only other person who he knew had one similar to his. 

“That’s quite the coincidence” Faith played back. 

“Another shift at the hospital?” Mrs. Graham asked, though her coat was wrapped tightly around her she could just make out the white material beneath. 

Faith nodded. “Most certainly am... and it looks like I’m doing a double shift too” she sighed, though she loved her job a double shift would knacker her out for the rest of the week and her hours were only increasing. 

Jamie looked confused as did Paul who walked over to join them again. “Wait you’re now heading to the hospital?” 

Faith looked around confused by if something she said wasn’t correct but nodded firmly. 

“You’re not seeing Claire today then?” Jamie asked. 

Faith scrunched her face up. “No? I saw her yesterday, on my day off. Is something wrong?” She asked. 

Jamie shook his head, though Paul looked at him his eyes wide with fear. He could see Jamie getting crossed between angry and upset yet remaining calm despite both emotions clashing. 

“I’m sure Claire just got the days muddled up” Paul suggested, though it wasn’t uncommon women who were pregnant could be forgetful. But Jamie knew she had reminded him of things he’d forgotten, this wouldn’t be something she’d easily forget or mistake. 

“Yeah, I’m sure that’s all it is” Jamie replied. Sensing the need for space Paul asked Faith to help him check the items were secure in the back of the car leaving him with the helpful hands of Mrs. Graham. 

“I know that look son...” she spoke aloud. “Something is troubling you?” 

“Aye, I think Claire lied to me...” he said instantly regretting being so honest. Though Mrs. Graham had become the closest person like the family he'd get again in this land he still didn't know if he was overreacting or just panicking for no reason. He trusted Claire, he knew she'd never put herself in danger without consulting him, so why was he so worried?

“Claire would never lie to ye... ye know that lad” Mrs. Graham reminded him. 

“I know...but she told me that Faith was coming today, she didn’t want me to stay at home with her...” the words flowed out of him like a stream. 

“There could be many reasons she may have done that...if she wasn't just confused?” 

“Aye, there could, but she was scared, terrified, she wasn’t herself yesterday. Almost like she’d seen a ghost” he revealed. The memories of how he found her when he walked in the door would haunt him for a few more nights in his sleep. It reminded him of when they first met, how afraid she was of everything and anything. He'd soon provided her with protection and safety but now it seemed that something was stronger. 

“I see” Mrs. Graham paused. “Would you like me to go check on her? I was due a visit anyway. I need to see how the bairn is growing” she offered. 

Jamie went to resist when Paul walked over, having heard the end of the conversation. “That sounds like a fine idea Mrs. Graham, and if there’s anything going on you know where to reach us” he suggested to which she nodded. Of course, he had suggested it knowing nothing would come up. 

“Aye,” Jamie begrudgingly agreed. 

///

Mrs. Graham had left shortly after Paul and Jamie had departed to carry on their own journey. She knew the chances of her finding anything out of the ordinary were slim, yet she still couldn’t shake the look on Jamie’s face. The worry was eating him from the inside out and yet that fear she recognised all too well was painted in red across his body. 

She had begun to think of the various reasons Claire could have lied to Jamie this morning as she drove the familiar route to the cottage in the middle of the highlands. Starting with fears over the baby and it’s health, though Faith would have said straight away had that been the case. Was she unhappy being back in her time and wanted to go back? Again another fear she hoped wouldn’t come true. She had enjoyed getting to know Claire and Jamie, welcoming them into her family and selfishly glad they couldn’t go back for a while if they even choose too. She’d enjoyed the company but mostly she’d enjoyed loving someone else other than her deceased husband. She treasured the moments she’d spent with Claire in the cottage, the car trips with Jamie, and how she taught him about Inverness and it’s new traditions, rekindling her friendship with Paul and of course meeting Bill again after all these years. Fate had brought this group together for a reason and she’d be damned if that was about to change. 

Approaching the cottage the first thing she noticed was the car parked near the bushes, using the overgrown ivy as a camouflage to hide its silver paintwork. Instantly something inside her told her to stop the car away from the house. Where the cottage was built it was surrounded by small hills and Mrs. Graham knew the one she had currently stopped behind would keep her own car out of sight if anyone was to the lookout of the home. 

Creeping slowly towards the cottage she used the greenery around her to blend in and hide away as much as possible, grateful that she'd chosen to wear her green coat today rather than her usual purple cardigan. Her suspicions that whoever owned that car was inside the home with Claire was confirmed when she heard shouting, a man’s voice, with a clear English accent as he screeched in tones she’d never heard a man yell before. English curse words she’d only heard in foul jokes in the pubs when she was a child being used and given out like beers. 

Mrs. Graham made her way around the back of the house, it was too risky to peek inside from the front. She leaned up to look into the kitchen window. peering inside she saw everything. She could see a man walking around claiming dominance in the home, his hands up in the air, as his voiced raised more, getting ever closer to Claire til she almost pinned against the wall. Her eyes were flowing with tears as she begged him to leave her alone, to lower his voice and allow her to move. And as he turned to face the window that’s when she recognised his face. Those memorable features she’d never forget. Frank. 

“Claire what have you gotten yourself into lass?” Mrs. Graham said aloud.


	18. Come Here, Be Still

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you SO much again for all of your lovely comments. 
> 
> As promised here's another chapter (And it's by the end of the week as I promised!) I did break this up as with the next chapter it would have been rather long! 
> 
> I'm really enjoying writing this story and it's great to see others are enjoying it equally!
> 
> Enough with the notes and let the reading commence...

Mrs. Graham couldn’t believe it was Frank of all people. How had he found her? Was it her fault? She’d been so careful to keep Claire’s identity hidden, rarely telling another soul of where she was spending most of her time. She knew she was the talk of the town with her so frequently disappearing and Bill now on the scene too, the villages were beginning to put two and two together but she didn’t mind, not when it concerned Claire and Jamie safety. If they were talking about her and Bill then they hadn’t discovered the residences hidden out in the highlands only a short drive away. She’d been extra careful with the Reverend which had been difficult, to say the least. He had asked her outright when she wasn’t able to stay and help out when her usual schedule was empty, he asked her if she was distracted by someone rather than something. She didn’t deny it nor confirm it, it was easier that way. 

But of course Frank had somehow found Claire in the middle of nowhere with evidence or clues to suggest she was even in Scotland. Mrs. Graham knew this day would come, as did Claire, but she had hoped it would have been later than this. They still had so much to do and with the baby in the prime stages of developing the risks were greater. As she looked again at the faint lines on his face she remembered the last time he looked like that, the confused expression that caused his forehead to wrinkle. The day she had told him where she believed Claire was, or suspected at least. The myths and stories of the stones that had been passed down for generations. Frank had stood listening attentively to every word, she couldn’t make out if he believed her or not, but it was enough for him to go explore or at least attempt to look before he left. It would have been so much easier if Claire had just left with someone she met in the war, at least that way she would be able to explain her disappearance easier without fear of being deemed unwell. 

Mrs. Graham leaned the side of her face against the glass, shuffling so her ear was comfortable against the cold surface and was able to hear the conversation with ease, rather than the muffled sounds she could hear before. She was eager to know exactly what Claire was doing and how she thought she’d be able to resolve this situation single handled. But most importantly what Frank intended to do. The man wasn’t known for his calm disposition and friendly nature, he’d caused quite the storm when Claire disappeared turning to the bars and liquor for comfort. 

“Claire I shouldn’t have grabbed you…” Frank half apologised, releasing his tight grip from her wrists and scratching at his own fingers. He’d never laid a hand on her before, even when she argued back. It was something he promised himself he would never do, yet here he was, practically holding against her will, with her back to a wall because she wouldn’t listen to him. “I’m sorry”

Claire tried to calm her breathing, watching the indents from his fingerprints slowly starting to fade if they bruised there was no way she would be able to stop Jamie hurting him or worse. He would kill anyone who dared lay a single mark on her. “It’s okay Frank” even though it wasn’t she couldn’t risk him getting angry again. Her baby was kicking furiously inside her now and she knew the warning signs. Her pep talks the previous day from Faith was enough to ensure she took a quick seat at the kitchen table and focused on remaining still and calm for a little while. Frank had noticed her sudden change in demeanor. 

“Is the…” He looked down, pointing the bump she suited so well.

“You can say it, Frank… the baby, it’s a baby…” Claire replied back tiredly. The lack of sleep wasn’t helping her sudden burst of hormones and the mix of adrenaline and fear she felt at the same time. Frank refused to look up at her as if looking her eyes would make it real, not that the swelling bump was enough of reality.

Claire’s hand went to her bump, rubbing softly over the material, feeling a small kickback in response, she sighed with relief. “We’re okay”. 

Frank sat down opposite, looking hopelessly in front of him like he was searching for an answer. “You should have just listened to Claire” he warned.

“I don’t know how many more times we’re going to go over this Frank. I don’t want to come, I’ve built a new life here…Surely you’ve done the same?” She asked, the discussion of what he had been up too in the years she’d been gone had never come up yet, but she was wondering herself what he’d been doing. She could see he was clearly still successful judging by the expensive branded suit he wore and his car was definitely an upgrade from the last motorcar they had. 

“I don’t want to talk about me” Frank tried to change the subject, grabbing the cup of whiskey Claire had pre-poured ready for him. 

“Why not?” Claire asked, sensing him getting defensive. “You can’t tell me you’ve sat waiting in your car for me to appear Frank?”

Frank remained silent, he wished that had been the case but it wasn’t. He too had taken other women, he’d picked up various women on his nights in the pubs, some of the older girls in his classes too, and found comfort in every single one of them. None of them have lived up to Claire, every time he woke up the next morning with someone besides him and evidence of his activities he grunted and wished it had been her. Not them. Not any of them. “How long did it take you before you were screwing your Scotsman then? A day?” Frank laughed. “I bet you resisted so much, begging for it right?” 

Claire scoffed at his low blow, which only confirmed her suspicions of his not so faithful years. “I’ve already explained Frank what happened, I tried to get back to you, I wanted you, I didn’t mean to fall in love with him. That wasn’t part of the plan, none of this was part of my plan. But it’s happened and I don’t regret it” She finally admitted. “We were never really happy Frank. Just think back, were you happy? Actually happy with our life together?” 

He didn’t say a word, trying to digest what had been thrown at him. So many thoughts were running through his mind but the one that stood out was when his wife had declared her love for another man. She loved him, she loved the Scotsman and not him anymore. His wife had not only found comfort in another man’s arms 200 years in the past had found but companionship and eternity too. 

“You don’t need me anymore Frank, you’ve never needed me” Claire added, seeing him beginning to grasp what she was telling him, however hard it may have been.

“I don’t need you, Claire, I want you” He ushered himself closer to her, walking around the side of the table, crouching down so he was her height, trying to find her hands to hold in his. She resisted at first, but when he didn’t budge she gave in, it was easier than fighting him, especially with his hands being so close her to stomach. 

“Frank, we can’t keep doing this!” 

“Claire, you are my wife, whether you like it or not. That fact you seem to be forgetting. You may have married this Scottish man in the past but it doesn’t stand now. And if you keep saying it does or I'll report him...” 

“You wouldn’t dare!” Claire gasped, her hand covering her mouth in fear. She knew it could be a possibility that Frank would stoop this low, but she had hoped he’d leave easily, or at least after they'd discussed why they'd never work. “You wouldn’t be so cruel!”

“Cruel? You think I’m the cruel one?” That comment had annoyed Frank more than she had suspected. He stood up, tearing his hands from hers. “Cruel is watching your wife with another man, knowing he’s the one holding her, kissing her lips, being able to touch you when he wants… that’s cruel Claire... That he's the father of her child, that he will experience all of those moments!” With another resist of his touch that had been the final straw for him. “You’ve got til Thursday to make your mind up. Either you come with me or I’ll report Jamie to the authority” 

Leaving Claire with the hardest decision she might face he left out of the front door without another word. Mrs. Graham followed him around the front of the house watching him get into the car and drive off in the distance. As soon as it was clear and she was sure he was gone she knocked on the front door. Claire hadn’t been expecting her that much was clear and when she saw her stood opposite her. Claire's face was distraught, the tears didn’t stop, as she collapsed into the older woman's arms, needing the closest thing she could to a mother’s hug. 

“I think we should sit down and talk, don’t you Lass?” Mrs. Graham suggested, they’d stood at the door for several minutes before she managed to maneuver them both to the sofa in the living area of the cottage, Claire’s head still resting on her shoulder, as she comforted her the best she could. She needed to be held and cared for, much like a child who needed her mother’s advice. Mrs. Graham would stay here for as long as she needed, letting her talk and talk til she couldn't anymore. 

“It’s okay, I’m here, let it all out Lass” She repeated several times, allowing Claire to fully break within her embrace.


	19. Light At The End Of The Tunnel

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you once again for all of your lovely comments! (I will reply back asap!) 
> 
> We're heading towards the end sadly, but still a few left!
> 
> Thank you again :)

Claire and Mrs. Graham had talked for what seemed like hours, occasionally stopping to allow Claire to grab a glass of water or relieve herself due to the unborn baby who liked to jump repeatedly on her bladder. Claire had told her everything about Frank, what he’d said and of course, she’d overheard herself his threats towards the end of the visit. One thing Mrs. Graham still couldn’t understand was why he was still so attached to Claire despite admitting to being unfaithful countless times whilst she’d been gone, it led her to wonder if he’d been unfaithful in the war years. She’d heard many wives share their fears of their husband's infidelity during those years, most of them only suspecting but she knew half of those would be correct. 

Mrs. Graham had discussed her own ideas on the subject, suggesting different ways they could overcome this despite how bad the current situation looked. She ratted her brain until it was almost empty with strategies that could work possibly though Claire seemed skeptical to get the older woman involved. She had already caused a great deal of heartache and lies for the woman and didn’t fancy dragging her further down her web of lies and disaster. 

“Claire, I willnae let you do this alone, ye have to ken me by now,” Mrs. Graham told her outright. She admired how much Claire cared for her and it was equally shared back but she wouldn’t be letting the lass deal with that man alone. She had seen first hand how close he got to harming her, she wondered what would have happened had she not been there. Or if Claire had not been pregnant would he would have done too. This man was not to be trusted and she would never forgive herself if anything happened to the two of them. 

“There’s someone I think we need to see” Mrs. Graham suggested. This was the last idea she had to give. But it seemed the most logical one. 

“I can’t tell Jamie yet... I will I promise but not right now” Claire begged. She was mentally exhausted and knew the fallout would be great with Jamie. She didn’t think she could do it right now or at all but it was inevitably going to happen soon. 

“Not Jamie lass, do not fear” Mrs. Graham comforted her. “It does involve a trip into town?” She put forward. 

Claire was hesitant, to begin with, she had almost forgotten what Inverness looked like. She had been anywhere else except the highlands and Lallybroch in months. She’d felt safer that way but for someone who was used to constantly moving it had surprised her just how settled she was in this home compared to the nomadic lifestyle she once treasured was something she feared. She had never been the woman men wanted to marry, she had no desire to run a household, own home for years, and do lunch dates with other wives. That’s why it somehow worked with Frank. Though he wanted those things they were constantly put on hold due to him regularly relocating due to his work. It had meant Claire had traveled yearly in the times they were together before the war, only renting proprieties rather than investing in permanent homes. Frank had tried to buy a house as soon as the war was over but with their pending trip to Scotland planned and then his new role in oxford straight away it once again had been delayed much to Claire’s relief. There had been one place she considered home and that was uncle lambs mansion in West Sussex. Though they didn’t spend a great deal of time there, the Christmases and holidays they did return home for were always like clockwork in that house. She treasured those memories with her uncle Lamb.

“Who are we meeting?” Claire asked a little while into the journey back onto the main road to Inverness. She had begun to map out the terrain and could see the upcoming town approaching below them. The way the sun shone brightly over the town hidden by the highlands, the chaos already becoming apparent as they drove closer. 

“He’s a lawyer in town” Mrs. Graham replied, keeping her eyes on the road. These country roads were known for random cattle to steer into the road from the fields without warning. 

“I don’t think that’s such a good idea...” Claire thought honestly. Inside her mind, she could see his judgemental remarks, siding with her husband, and doing whatever Frank asks. It could end the bad way. Frank had money and means and definitely the motive to ensure she failed. 

“Shh dear,” Mrs. Graham tapped the top of her hand. “This lawyer isn’t like the ones you’ve probably heard of in London. He’s a lovely gentleman who’s fought for our rights for generations. His family has been lawyers right back to the 1700s. He’s a kind man with a big heart. He willnae judge ye” she explained. She had seen the man on several occasions over the years and he’d done his best every time. 

“Have you met him before?” Claire asked. Intrigued why she spoke so fondly of him, though his name had never come up in conversation before. She spoke about him like he was a close friend rather than a stranger. 

“Aye,” she replied. “He’s the reason I’ve kept my house ye see” 

“Your house?”

“The law has it, that women were not allowed to own property ye see, but that changed in 1891, well, our judge around here isn’t the most welcoming and still thinks women shouldn’t have the right they have… The Judge wanted the law reversed here in Scotland and would repeal against all petitions for women to own their own properties. This lawyer argued for me against the judge, that my circumstances were different with my last husband passing away so tragically he managed to secure it in my name” Claire listened to every word and couldn’t believe they would even try to take her home after she lost him. “He dinnae have to do what he did lass, but that’s the type of man he is. My late husband was very fond of him when he was alive. His parents had been good friends with his and so on” 

They soon arrived in Inverness. Mrs. Graham taking the car to a part of the town she’d never explored. It was on the outskirts where all the houses were detached and had huge gardens at the front and back. She suspected they had been damaged in the bombing as the brick seemed fairly new and the ground unusually flat in places. She stepped closer to the house looking around the street. No one was outside and the quiet tones were almost suspicious. 

Mrs. Graham knocked loudly on the door and waited only a few seconds before it opened and revealed a middle-aged man who hugged her quickly before greeting Claire and shaking her hand gently. 

“Tea or coffee?” He asked the room, both women said no thank you and sat down where he directed them in the back sunroom which overlooked the jungle garden that had been left to grow for what seemed like years. The wildlife had overtaken it and claimed it for their own but the older man didn’t seem to mind. 

Sensing what Claire was thinking he interrupted her thoughts. “I like to sit here at night and just watch the outside world go by” he explained. 

“I apologize I haven’t introduced myself, I’m Claire” she smiled politely at him, putting her hand out in front of her to wait to receive his back. 

“Derek Gowan” with the mention of his surname Claire looked up suddenly. Had it really been? Could it really be? That name had been a great deal of comfort to her in the first few months of her arrival back in the past. He’d been the man who risked everything and attended her trial without payment. He’d risked his own neck to try to save hers and all for a few chats here and there where they’d shared a common like for black pudding and mountain views. 

“Ye ken the name?” He asked. 

Claire nodded unsurely. “I believe I do...” she tried to explain further, saying it aloud in her head to make sure she didn’t slip up. “Do you have a distant relative named Ned Gowan by any chance?”

The man chuckled and nodded. “Why yes lass, he was the first lawyer of our family name. He’s considered a hero for the Scottish people of Inverness” He spoke of him so fondly and Claire could only agree. He had been one of the greatest, he was the man she knew would begin fighting for others' rights, to get the Scots back their independence and farmers more land without further payments. He had offered her assistance on countless occasions, each time putting her welfare first. 

“How did a British lass like you come to hear of such a man like him?” 

“My late husb... Frank was interested in family trees and his name came up. It stuck with me for some reason” it hadn’t been entirely true but it was the best she could come up with on the spot. The man seemed satisfied with her answer and continued. 

Claire smiled. She had fond memories of doing the same as a child in many of the countries she’d been fortunate to visit. She’d come across wildlife that even books hadn’t drawn pictures for yet. She’d heard animals that folk tales claim to be dangerous and yet she lived to tell the tale every time. 

“What is it I can help you with today, my dear?” 

Claire looked at Mrs. Graham who gave her a reassuring nod before she continued. She told him everything. Though she had kept her journey to the past secret everything else since returning had been mentioned. When he asked about her disappearance she claimed that she’d gotten lost and kidnapped and that’s how she ended up in the middle of nowhere with then Jamie, a stranger who took care of her. Even though it sounded far fetched he believed her. Maybe he had heard crazier stories?

“Have ye heard of the newest adamant to the Matrimonial Causes Act?” 

Claire shook her head, she hadn’t had a chance since her return to keep up to date with the latest acts though since her birth things had been rapidly improving for everyone, in particular women’s rights. 

“Well you see dear, they’ve updated the reasons for divorce, one being unlawful desertion for two years or more….” Claire was listening to his every word, his distant relative too had known every single line of every legalisation and act too. She nodded intensively as she began to understand how they would be able to remove her from Frank’s grip. “I believe you’ve shown this and we could file for a divorce based on that” He continued, awaiting to see her reaction. 

“Is that all you can do Derek?” Mrs. Graham asked. “The lass will lose all morals for being divorced under those circumstances ye see?” Mrs. Graham had remembered the one lady in the village who ran away with a solider she’d met during the war, the whole town dismissed her as if her she had disappeared too. 

“I see exactly what you’re suggesting Mrs. Graham… but that’s all there is without Frank asking for a divorce for adultery and desertion is a better reason, don’t ye think?” In the moments of silence, he began to think about any other acts he could think of, but this was it. There was no other way for Claire to get out of this marriage and most importantly away from control from Frank. 

“We’ll do it” Claire nodded determinedly. Mrs. Graham went to interrupt when she continued. “I know you’re worried, and I admit I am too. But this is my only option and I would not be able to live with myself if anything happened to Jamie…” Mrs. Graham understood though she remained silent. 

“That's great. Now that is all settled I will begin to get this drawn up and petition for the divorce for you. I will make sure that nothing is sent to Frank until I have made sure that everything has gone through and there are no loopholes if ye understand my meaning” The lawyer explained.

“Thank you” Claire replied. She had hoped for a nicer way though she was unsure what that would have been. A part of her wished her and Frank could have ended happily, a simple goodbye and that was it. Now they would have to tear each other apart to survive one another. 

Claire had to sign a few papers to agree for his work to continue and also to provide some information on Frank that would help him move things along in that direction. She had signed the last page when she knew she was ready to go home. 

Walking to the car Mrs. Graham noticed the sad look on her friend’s face. “Ye thinking so loud I can almost hear ye from other here lass”

Claire smiled, stopping and looking at her. “I’m just thinking how I’m going to explain this all to Jamie in a little while. It has to be tonight. I know I said I would anyway but I can’t be avoided no matter what happens” 

Mrs. Graham grabbed her hand, squeezing it tightly before they both got into the car and drove back towards the cottage.


	20. Is It Too Late To Say I'm Sorry?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for still following and commenting on this story! A few more chapters to go and it's finished! 
> 
> Let me know what you think :)

“Lass you’re not looking so well,” Mrs. Graham said and within an instant she helping Claire to sit down on the sofa, making sure she wouldn’t get up again, knowing she’d full well begin to protest soon. 

“I’m fine” Claire lied, she had felt rough all day, it was just as Faith had told her. The stress on her body was taking its toll and she was going to suffer more the longer she felt this burdened and restricted.

“I can see verra well for myself Claire that ye do not look well” Mrs. Graham responded back. She had watched her pale skin tone go even paler since they arrived back at the cottage as if she’d watched the soul be sucked from her. “Is it the bairn?” She asked worried for her newfound friend.

Claire shook her head, that was the one thing she was sure was okay in all of this. It was happily kicking away despite her discomfort, but in a way, she loved every kick that reminded her of what she was heading towards and how this stress would seem worthwhile once her family was complete and they were given the second chance the universe owed them. 

“Kicking away, do you want to feel?” Claire offered. Mrs. Graham had never asked before, whereas it was the first thing Faith did whenever she visited. 

“May I?” 

Claire smiled, nodding. “Right…here” Claire held onto Mrs. Graham’s hand, moving it around her bump till she felt the familiar sharp kick in the same spot. She looked up at the see old woman smiling as she felt the kicks, Claire could feel them through both their hands. 

“She’s going to be a swimmer alright lass” Mrs. Graham chucked, imagining the bairn in the lakes around the highlands, swimming away before she could walk. Her husband had been a keen swimmer, often using the lakes. 

“She?” Claire looked up, Jamie had always referred to their unborn baby was a boy. He was convinced whereas Claire remained steady in the middle. She knew Jamie would not mind either but a part of her hoped or a boy for him. She understood the principle of having a boy to carry on his name and his history. Though Claire couldn't help but want a girl again, another girl to remind her of the baby they lost. 

“Oh sorry Lass, I shouldna said anything” Mrs. Graham looked embarrassed she’d spoken up, removing her hand away from the swelling stomach.

“Jamie is certain it’s going to be a boy… I’m not sure… I have a feeling it may be another girl though” Claire said aloud, seeing Mrs. Graham’s shoulders relax and loosen. She knew the lady had powers and ability beyond her comprehension, and even though she wanted to ask her if she knew it for a fact she thought it was wiser not too. It filled her with hope though. 

//

Jamie had been distracted the whole day, being told on various occasions by Paul to sit the next activity out. He’d apologised straight away, his dream state presence, and insisted he could still help out but Paul wasn’t having any of it. He needed him 100% focused or not at all. The equipment they were using and moving around wasn’t anything to be half asleep or daydreaming whilst using. It could mean a disaster for anyone one of them. 

“I’m sorry Paul” Jamie sighed sitting down on the hay barrel, burying his face into his hands. He’d been thinking nonstop about Claire and what Faith had told him. Claire had never really lied to him before, there were of course normal lies between a husband and wife but nothing this serious. Their whole time together had been one of unity and trust. Something he knew was rare but made their relationship more eternal and everlasting. It hurt him more to think Claire couldn't trust him or felt like she could tell him rather than the fact she was keeping something from him. He made vows to keep her safe, a blood promise to protect her yet right now he felt he was doing the opposite of that. 

“Mrs. Graham will sort it, she’s good like that lad” Paul patted him reassuringly on his shoulder before walking off. 

Jamie waited for what seemed like hours but in reality, had only been forty minutes before he started pacing up and down awaiting Mrs. Graham's arrival with the hope of the news he wanted rather than the news he dreaded to hear. 

“Ye making me dizzy with all this walking. Sit down” Paul shouted from across the field, Jamie suddenly jumped at the sound of his voice but obeyed and sat back down again. 

Another hour had passed and Jamie hadn’t moved from the spot, his vision solely focused on the road that led from the town to the farm. Paul had shaken the man's hand who they had been helping out before coming over again, this time his hands full of the equipment he borrowed from Mrs. Graham. “Lad help me get this in the back again can ye?” Jamie nodded, taking most of it in one arm and putting it in the back.

“Have ye finished already?” Jamie asked. It had only felt like they’d been here for a few hours yet when he looked across the sky into the distance the sun was setting and the red skies were fastly coming in. 

“Lad, ye have been on that hay barrel for hours” Jamie went to apologize when Paul stopped him. “I don’t want no apologies from ye. I understand ye got a lot on your mind so let’s get you home now” 

Jamie smiled and nodded before climbing into the truck next to the older man. They drove home faster than Jamie would have liked, his stomach churning the whole way, even though he kept his eyes on the road and the window rolled down as much as it would go causing a mini storm inside the truck as the winds howled. He’d be glad to get home and find out for himself what was going on. Approaching the cottage they saw Mrs. Graham little car outside and there was no sign of her inside it. 

“I told ye lad it would be alright” Paul reminded him. 

“We’re not out of the clear yet” Jamie spoke back. That fact Mrs. Graham had not yet reached them didn’t fill Jamie with hope, actually, it was the exact opposite. He dreaded seeing her car there, something was wrong he knew it. He knew it the second he left the house and she kissed him, lingering it for two seconds longer than normal, the way she couldn’t sleep when normally she had been lucky throughout the pregnancy that the bairn remained still at night as if they knew it was sleep time for the adults. His wife had been distant and cold towards him which was the complete opposite of her usual loving nature. 

“Ye know where I am if you need me, Jamie,” Paul said as matter of fact rather than a statement. He’d come to admire the boy more than cared to admit and if something was wrong he would rather he came to him than got lost or worse. 

Jamie said his farewells and made his way towards his home. He walked inside to see Claire on the couch, her body curled up and her feet tucked neatly underneath her legs. She had been crying, he knew from the way her cheeks remained a light pink with a slight puffiness to them. He also saw that the smile she usually greeted him with wasn’t there, it was fear and terror, much like how he left her this morning. 

“Claire” he couldn’t wait any longer he needed to comfort her, as she would him if had been in that state. He knelt opposite her, letting her collapse against his chest. Her heart was beating so loudly he could hear it without listening directly to her chest. He wiped the tears that fell and brushed the stray curls from her face. He needed her to feel safe and loved. 

“Jamie I need to tell you something” she whispered into his ear, any louder and she’d refuse to tell him. It was tearing her apart inside the ifs and maybes and now she was finally facing telling him the truth she wished she’d spoken to him sooner. The web had now become so entangled and complicated whereas a few days ago it was simple strands that would have been easier to explain. 

“I’ll see myself out now Claire... and Jamie take care of her please. I’ll be back in the morning” Mrs. Graham explained. 

“But it’s church in the morning?” Claire replied, with confusion. Sunday's had been the days they knew Mrs. Graham wouldn't be able to pop round. 

“I know, but I think you need me more right now” and with that, she left. 

“What’s going on sassenach? You’re scaring me” Jamie confessed. His own chest was aching with the pain of what might come next. “Is it the bairn?” His eyes watered the second he mentioned their baby's name. His fear of losing another baby was too much to bear and Claire instantly shook her head to show him it wasn’t that, she couldn’t bear the thought that he thought it was something to do with their baby. 

“No, no Jamie” Claire moved her hand to cup against his chin, letting him lean into her touch. “But I’m gonna ask you to let me tell you everything, to explain before you comment?” 

Jamie nodded. He remembered back when Claire had first told him who she really was, where she really was she had said the exact same sentence. Though the questions were firing around in his mind out of control he remained silent the whole time she spoke, letting her get out what she needed before he started with his list of questions he needed to know. He sighed knowing that would happen now. 

“Frank came back... he found me... he tried to make me leave with him and of course I said no. I wanted to tell you he came back but I was scared he would hurt you or worse us” she looked down at her bump, Jamie’s eyes followed and nodded for her to continue. “I didn’t know what to do and Mrs. Graham found me this morning and helped. She knows a lawyer who can petition for the divorce by saying I abandoned Frank with you and that way he can’t deny it...say something, Jamie?” 

He remained silent, staring at the blank wall behind Claire. He wasn’t sure what to say, what to think or feel at this point. His wife’s ex-husband had been in their home, probably touching his wife even if she hadn’t wanted it, he’d sat at the table and begged her to come back to him knowing she was happy and had moved on and yet he couldn’t blame him. He would do the same. Claire was different. She was unique she had a way of making you feel like the most special person in the room. He had been worried the whole time they been back that Frank might find her, that something about him may cause her to leave him. In this world, this time he could provide more her than he ever could. 

“Jamie?” 

“I just need time to process this Claire...” was all he said back to her. He stood up without looking at her and went into their bedroom slamming the door shut behind him. 

As soon as she knew he wasn’t coming out again for a while Claire couldn’t help but break down. She had hoped he’d shout at her, tell her she messed up yet no words were worse than the cruel ones she expected. She needed him to be mad at her to hate her for what she didn’t tell him, the danger she put herself in yet he was too numb to argue back with her. 

The next morning wasn’t any different, Claire must have fallen asleep on the couch, her back aching more than it normally did thanks to the awkward position she had curled up into. She looked at their bedroom door seeing it still firmly shut and there was no suggestion by the fact nothing had been moved in the kitchen to suggest he’d been out yet either. 

Before she could even decide whether or not to go into the bedroom and try to talk to him a knock at the door followed by Mrs. Graham walking inside distracted her. She knew instantly by the blanket that was still in a ball on the sofa and the even messier state of her curls that she’d spent the night out of bed and probably away from Jamie. 

“How did it go lass?”

Claire shrugged her shoulders, biting into her bottom lip to stop it from shaking. “I don’t know... he hasn’t really spoken to me since...” 

Mrs. Graham nodded, exactly how she thought the young man would react. He needed time to process what had happened, who had come back into Claire’s life’s but most importantly the lack of trust that was missing. “He’ll come around soon, just you wait,” she said reassuringly. Though claire knew better, she’d seen him in a dark place before he needed a lot longer than space and time to be able to communicate how he felt. 

“I hope so” Claire mumbled as she walked over to the kitchen filling the kettle up and putting it to boil, she knew Mrs. Graham wouldn’t say no to a cup of tea but right now she needed one just as much, yawning deeply as the water-filled.


	21. Message In A Bottle

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so so much to everyone who is still following this story or who has started reading this.
> 
> I can't believe how long it's been since I lasted updated - work has been manic and I rarely have any time to do anything other than sleeping or working at the moment. 
> 
> I'm on a break this week from work so I'm aiming to get this story finished and others updated.
> 
> Thank you again and I hope you enjoy it!

Things hadn’t improved in the days following. Jamie was still distant, staying later and later at work to avoid going home, finding just about any excuse to clean another stable or tend to the fields. Claire, on the other hand, had started going to bed earlier, their baby had been moving around more and definitely growing at a faster pace now making simple tasks harder. It didn’t help that on top of everything going on she felt mentally and physically exhausted, her body needed the rest equally. Claire had forgotten how tiring pregnancy could be, it was beautiful and glorious, yes, but the swollen body parts weren’t much fun neither were the sleepless nights because you couldn’t get comfy due to the ever-growing bump that seemed to get bigger with every passing day. She was sure she hadn’t been this big Faith.

Mrs. Graham had visited every single day. Though Claire knew it was to check on her and make sure she was taking care of herself and the baby she still made excuses for her visits. On Monday, it was to bring her some new jam she’d made at the weekend using the fruits in her garden that she knew her cravings would love! On Tuesday, it was because she “forgot” her scarf which Claire knew she’d left on purpose but still went along with it. Today she was ready to hear the next excuse for her visit. 

“What brings you here today?” Claire grinned, wiping away the milk from her lips as she handed another full glass to Mrs. Graham. 

The old lady looked shocked, almost caught out in the act, and guilty. She went to start her new excuse when Claire stood with her hands on her hips. “How long have you known?” She said with defeat, biting into her lip as she slowly sat down at the kitchen table in her usual chair. 

“Since you brought the jam round…” 

“But that was three days ago?” She gasped. 

Claire nodded, a small laugh escaping her lips. “I’m grateful though,” she said sincerely. She’d been incredibly lonely the last few weeks. Jamie had been like a memory rather than an actual person in her mind. How she thought she’d lose him once she went through the stones had seemed almost a reality at this point. 

“The lad hasn’t come round then yet?”

Claire shook her head. “No… He’s telling me he’s leaving and letting me know he’s home but that’s about it” 

“I’m sorry lass, I thought he’d snap out of this quicker than this”

“Me too” Claire sighed. She knew she’d hurt Jamie, she’d done the one thing they agreed not to do, lie. But this had felt like a different scenario, it wasn’t out of hurt or regret. In fact, Claire didn’t regret lying and not telling him Frank had found her, she regretted how long it took her to tell him. She should have told him that first night but the fear of losing Jamie overtook any rational thoughts. She knew how powerful Frank could be, she’d seen the few moments his temper had overtaken him. She would do just about anything to protect her family. 

“Lass, I meant to tell you…aye I bumped into Mr. Gowan yesterday and he told me it’s all progressing nicely along for ye” Mrs. Graham added. She had gone into town after seeing Claire and quite literally bumped into him. 

Claire nodded in response, Mr. Gowan had been updating her by written letters frequently, ensuring she knew where they were and what if anything she needed to do. It had been nice to have a regular response and she was glad it seemed like things were working in her favor. Frank’s lawyers were unable to protest any of it and had already told him to settle and agree to the divorce. He’d also been advised to stay away from Claire in the meantime though no law could actually enforce that at the moment. She knew Frank had tried to fight, claiming it was false and that he didn’t care, that Claire was his wife and he should be allowed her back, but his lawyers couldn’t force Claire to do anything and they explained that much. This was part of the reason why Mrs. Graham was regularly coming over to make sure he hadn’t turned up again and tried to force her to leave. Especially with Jamie working so much and avoiding the house, there was so much more opportunity for him. 

Mrs. Graham stayed for a while, going through two cups of tea, a plate of biscuits, and even a quick snooze by accident on the cozy chair by the fire. Claire had to wake up the lady and tell her to go home to which she thanked her. 

On her way home, she turned down another road that led to Paul’s farm. She knew she had to speak to Jamie about what was going on, she had been silent so far, allowing them to work it out but clearly, they needed some help. She had gotten to know how stubborn Jamie was, especially when he felt his pride was taken away from him. 

“Is that Mrs. Graham’s car?” Paul said loudly, shouting towards Jamie who was working a few meters away on the crops with him. 

Jamie replied “Aye...”

“You better get your hands cleaned and go see her lad” Paul instructed him. 

“How do ye know she’s here to see me?” Jamie asked, puzzled. 

“I just do lad, go on” Paul patted his shoulders and sent him off. He hoped his chat with Mrs. Graham would get him talking to Claire again. The slump he had gotten himself into wasn’t good for him. 

“Is it me you’re looking for?” Jamie asked. 

“Aye lad, come sit with me” Mrs. Graham encouraged him to come sit beside her on one of the broken down tree trunks. 

“Is everything alright?” He asked with a slight panic on his face. 

“Oh yes lad, nothing like that, Claire and the bairn are doing great, I was just there” she comforted him. 

“But I have come to talk to you about what’s going on though...”

Jamie went to dismiss Mrs. Graham when she stopped him like she would her own son who was being ridiculous and not listening. “You’re not my son, but you’re the closest I have at this present time and you’ve become one, as has Claire, but lad ye need to work through whatever is going on in your head,” Mrs. Graham said honestly. “I know you’re struggling and you can’t speak to Claire but I’m here and I will listen if you would let me?”

Jamie debated internally what to do. He couldn’t carry on as he was, he mentally and physically tired working extra hours to avoid his own mind thinking alongside seeing Claire and all the guilt overtaking again. He missed the moments in the mornings before he left for her work when he would caress her swollen stomach and talk to the bairn before Claire awoke. He missed the evenings when it was just them two and they held each other for hours, talking of all the fonds memories of home, of his family. 

“I let her... I let Claire down...” He admitted, his head lowering as he confessed his shame. 

“Jamie I will tell you this once and I want you to listen to every word...” Mrs. Graham instructed him. “You didn’t let Claire or the bairn down lad” 

“If that’s true then why did Claire not tell me?”

Mrs. Graham took his hand into hers. “Ah dinnae ken lad, but all I do know is she is currently at home, alone, scared, and very pregnant with a bairn who is growing very quickly just wanting the man who makes her feel safe and loved back” She continued, “You haven’t let her down, but if you carry on the way ye are then you will be lad, she needs you, go be what she needs and show her ye would never let her or bairn down”

Just as Jamie was about to agree and ask for a lift home to sort things out, Paul came running over from the other side of the field, he’d just been indoors for a brief period of time. His face was full of panic and fear. One which Jamie had rarely seen. 

“Paul is everything alright?” Mrs. Graham asked, seeing how worn out he’d gotten from running so fast across the field. 

“Ah dinnae ken…Jamie, lad, that was Faith… Claire’s been taken to hospital… it’s the bairn.. she thinks she’s coming already, ye must go quickly” Paul explained.

Jamie nodded, gulping loudly before looking at Mrs. Graham who nodded before being asked. “I’ll take ye lad, come on”.


	22. The Beginning of the End

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here it is..... the final chapter!
> 
> Apologies for how long this has taken me to update! Work has taken up all of my time recently but I've been slowly writing this chapter a while now!
> 
> Thank you so much to everyone who has read/commented/enjoyed this story. It means so much to me to see the love and positivity! I didn't think this story would last this long, or even liked by so many of you so thank you from the bottom of my heart!
> 
> Thank you so much to Vic who has been my beta for this final chapter! I owe you!

“If ye think any louder lad then maybe the almighty up there might be able to hear you” Mrs. Graham  
said aloud, pointing her fingers up to the clouds above them.

The car ride had felt like an entire lifetime for Jamie, though in reality, it was less than an hour's drive till  
they reached their destination. As he looked out of the window, he couldn’t shake the overwhelming  
feeling of utter helplessness. He knew his fight with Claire, his own ignorance at this late stage in her  
pregnancy wasn’t needed, but he needed that time to think and evaluate. In the time they’d been  
together he never once doubted her commitment. She had been loving, supportive, and fierce all in  
one. Yet somehow in the last few weeks things had felt different between them, she’d normally  
confide in him with anything, no matter how big nor how small yet she kept this secret from him, one  
which could have backfired and put not only her at risk but their bairn too.

Jamie nodded at Mrs. Graham, turning his head to look at the old lady who had become like family in  
such a short space of time. He’d barely trusted anyone in his life, yet in this new time, he seemed to  
find more people to trust, though it hadn’t been by choice initially. His presence in this time could have  
been devastating to both him and Claire had anyone looked far enough back to trace him.

“She’ll be alright…” Mrs. Graham spoke again. “She’s a fighter.”

Jamie gulped, furiously wiping the stray tear from his eye with the back of his hand. He remembered  
his Da saying the exact same thing just before his Ma passed away. Claire had always reminded him  
of her. Her stubbornness when she knew she was right, her passion and fierce temper when she  
didn’t agree. Claire even had the same small pout his Ma would give his Da when she wanted  
something, she knew she didn’t need. It pained him to think they’d never met; he knew she would  
have approved of his wife.

The town was now coming into view, as the twist and turns of the country roads disappeared and the  
more commercial roads began, leading them onto a direct path towards the main section of the town  
where the hospital was located. Jamie couldn’t help but think about how he got here, how he was  
sitting in a moving machine that made his stomach churn with every sound that the engine made. He  
would have never believed in traveling to different times had he not met Claire. He remembered  
every word from that exhausting day in the woods, how she described every sense and feeling that  
happened to her. He didn’t understand till it happened to him. The calling, the humming and buzzing,  
the way Claire’s eye’s dilated and fixed onto the stone in front. But in that moment, he realised he had  
wanted to come through, his passion, his love for Claire, and their bairn had been enough that  
someone had granted that wish. He had mentally begged he could go with her and this wouldn’t be  
the last time he’d see her face, that he’d get to watch his bairn grow up and find out what her favourite  
colour was or who she looked the most like.

“You’ve got this Jamie!” Mrs. Graham said with perfect timing as they then approached the front of the  
hospital.

The car hadn’t stopped before Jamie was jumping up and out from his seat onto the pavement. He  
rushed past the various patients that were lined up neatly waiting to be seen at the front desk. Jamie  
couldn’t wait, he knew Claire needed him, he sensed it. He made excuses to get him to the front of the  
queue, apologising every so often.

“Claire Fraser” He blurted out quickly, leaning his body against the desk.

“I’m sorry sir, you’re going to have to slow down,” she said, flicking through her charts as she tried to  
listen again to his request. She had watched him skip the queue but saw the urgency in his eyes.  
They were used to people coming in looking for those involved in emergencies and so on so this  
wasn’t something out of the ordinary.

Jamie breathed deeply, resting himself up against the desk. “Claire Fraser” he tried again, his foot  
tapping impatiently. “She’s my wife” He added. In the time it took the young receptionist to look

through her notes Mrs. Graham had managed to quickly park the car and join Jamie, thankful that he  
had been delayed at the desk so she didn’t have to start searching the building room by room.  
“There ye are lad” she huffed as she too leaned side by side onto the desk. She knew he would need  
someone, whether he realised it or not.

The receptionist stood up, seeing the man now joined by an older lady. “Mrs. Fraser is just through  
the next doors and two onto your left”

“Thank you so much lassie” Jamie beamed, this time waiting for Mrs. Graham as she walked  
alongside him. Not much longer to go until he would be with Claire and living the moment that had he  
dreamed about since he met her.

Everyone had told him from when he was a young boy how good he was with children, yet he never  
saw it. He had no desire than to have any of his own. He adored his nieces and nephews and that  
was the extent for him. He said if it happened, it happened and then he met Claire who had changed  
all of those views. He remembered his Da saying the exact to same him when he left home. He had  
told him how he hadn’t wanted children until he met their Ma, that she had shown him how happy he  
could be and most importantly what happiness a bairn could bring too. He hadn’t understood till he  
walked through the doors and saw Claire there, their new bairn fussing in her arms, her small delicate  
fingers trying to find their ways to their mother’s. He hadn’t even realised he was crying till Mrs.  
Graham handed him a tissue from the inside of her coat.

“I’m sorry...”

“Don’t be sorry lad” Mrs. Graham said, rubbing his back softly. “Now wipe your tears and go see that  
beautiful bairn of yours!”

Faith was there besides Claire, checking she was okay and monitoring the baby at the same time.  
He approached carefully, almost hesitant. He smiled at Faith as he took over the place she’d been.  
He leaned down on the side of the bed and looked into Claire’s eyes. The beauty and fighter all in one  
revealed back to him. How she’d gone through such a traumatic thing all alone. He’d never  
understand where her undefining strength had come from, but he was grateful that she was his.

“Jamie, meet your daughter,” Claire said, a tear trickling down her cheek as she said the one  
sentence, she never thought she’d say again, not after the last time and the time before when she  
thought she was sterile. This moment had been one for her which had felt like it would never come.

“A brawl lass” Jamie hummed, stroking her cheek with his index finger, softly over and over again.  
Her wide eyes looking back at him, gazing at him and not once looking away.

“I know you had wanted a boy….” Claire said. She knew Jamie had grown up in a time where they  
preferred a boy to lead when they were old yet she couldn’t help but think in this new world their  
daughter would be raised with the same rights men had.

“There’s nothing to be sorry about, she’s perfect, she’s beautiful mo nighean” he brushed his thumb  
against her face, in awe of the softness and beauty that their wee bairn possessed at only hours old.

“She certainly is” Claire grinned, she shuffled slightly, opening her arms up a little so Jamie could get  
in closer. “Would you like to hold her now?”

Jamie nodded, too speechless to say a word. He’d held babies before, quite a few actually never that  
were his own and so much more precious. Claire gently moved over their daughter into his arms,  
ensuring her head was supported and her body looked as comfy as it could be. She leaned back into  
the pillows relieved to be able to stretch for a moment.

Jamie stood up slowly, before sitting on the chair opposite the bed, his daughter cradled protectively  
in his arms. “I don’t think I’ll ever bore of holding her Claire”

Claire couldn’t help but chuckle lightly. She too had felt the same.

It seemed like they had spent minutes together as a family, yet it had been hours. Both of them  
staring down at their new bairn in utter peace.

Mrs. Graham had popped back a little later to say hello and see the new addition to their growing  
family. She had been joined by Paul as well who was excited to feel like a Grandpa again. They had  
told Jamie that the nurses had already said he could stay over, something that wasn’t normally  
allowed but apparently someone they knew had pulled some strings so it could be possible. A thin  
mattress was brought in later that night, though Jamie had spent it with his wife curled against his  
chest, his feet hanging off the end of the hospital bed.

“Do you think it was Faith?” Jamie said in the dark, brushing the curls away from Claire’s face, their  
baby sound asleep in the bassinet beside them.

Claire smiled, nuzzling her head into him. “I do, I think she knew you’d protest anyway so decided to  
make it easier on those poor nurses” she couldn’t help but chuckle quietly, fully imagining the scene  
Jamie would have been shown had he not been granted this. “She was amazing yesterday, it’s like  
she knew I was coming in and asked if she could be there for me. I wouldn’t have been able to do it  
without her”

“I’m glad she was there for you Sassenach, I’m sorry I wasn’t…” Jamie rested his head on hers,  
holding her tighter.

Claire turned her head to look at him, his eyes focused on only her. “Jamie, I’m okay, we’re all okay  
that’s all that matters now okay?” Jamie nodded, kissing the end of her nose softly. He knew she was  
referring to the distance between them before their bairn was born, it wasn’t just about him not being  
there for the birth, but all of it. And somehow, she was right. Now she was here nothing else mattered.

“Claire, do ye sometimes think she’s what our Faith would have been, grown-up like??”

Claire tried to hold back her tears, nodding quickly in response instead. “I do Jamie” she let Jamie  
wipe her cheek, catching the drops against his fingers. “I think she’d be just like her. I think she’d be  
caring and loving. I think she’d have long fiery hair just like yours, with curls in the ends that would be  
like mine and annoy her at least a hundred times a day, I think she’d have your sense of adventure  
too, she’d be passionate and crazy yet sensible and kind.”

“She’d argue with reason too I ken it” Jamie added in. “She’d definitely be like you. She would have  
been a healer.”

“I want to make sure this bairn knows her older sister Jamie” Claire with seriousness. Not a day went  
past when she didn’t think of that horrific time in France.

“Good, I want nothing but the same as ye Claire,” Jamie said. “I…I was actually thinking, about her  
name…”

Claire looked at him, letting him know to continue.

“I like the name, Brianna, after my Da. And I think I was thinking we could use Ellen after your Ma and  
Faith as a middle name?” Jamie proposed, shuffling closer to Claire. “What do ye think Sassenach?”

Claire nodded continuously, capturing his lips against hers roughly. “Yes, I love it.” Just as she replied  
she looked down to see their girl fussing in her bassinet. Claire reached out and held her against her  
cheek, letting her look around and adjust to her new surrounding before letting her feed.

“Good Morning Brianna Ellen Faith Fraser” Jamie said, stroking her face. “Our wee girl.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And it's over.... 
> 
> Thank you again for all of your support and love!
> 
> I am starting a new story in the next few weeks so look out for that if you're interested!


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